If you don’t have a plan for where you are going, anywhere will do.

My wife and I are probably 20 to 25 years away from achieving our objective of becoming “somewhat old-ish” and without a support network.  So we have some time.  This is a good thing, because while we still have all – well, ok, MOST – of our faculties, we can figure out what we will do when we are no longer fully facultied.  At the point where we are not, we need a plan in place that will run on autopilot, working without direction from us, as we may be no longer directorial.  That is why I am doing this blog; to find out if such a plan is possible, and if the answer is yes, what that plan is. 

The burden of caring for the elderly is mostly born by the children of the elderly.  There are several great books on this subject, including A Bittersweet Season, by Jane Gross.  She makes an interesting point about how both parents and children will hide from the truth of declining health.  “Elderly parents who don’t “bother” their children today (with health issues) are setting the stage for a crisis tomorrow.  Adult children who pretend they don’t see trouble brewing are doing the same.  Like it or not, this is now a family affair.”

But, of course, for us, and I suspect many others, it is not a family affair.  With no immediate family support network, the entire burden of being honest about disabilities falls on the Elder.  The Elder, the future We, must accurately assess our ability to make it to the toilet without falling and cracking open our heads or shattering our hips.  We must recognize when we can no longer tell how fast that car is coming, and whether or not they are likely to stop before they t-bone us.  We must admit that a motorized wheel chair will not be allowed in the assisted living facility dining room (some are not!), and that a further change in living arrangements is necessary.  We must be both parent and child.  But is that even possible?

The answer will be, I believe, a resounding “Yes and No.”  Yes for some, but unfortunately no for others.  Yes at one point in time, but no thereafter.  The idea of adopting a plan of action and initiating that plan early, while the faculties are reasonably functioning, may be the best, perhaps the only, way to push through the difficulties to come.  Hiring a professional geriatric care planner may be an important step in ensuring that someone with faculties is helping guide those of us who are without.  If we know now when we are likely to need help, we are more likely to get help when we actually need it.

Planning for what will likely happen as we age will be easier for those with means versus those who think Social Security and Medicare will be enough for a satisfying old age lifestyle.  For example, as I noted in previous posts, a key feature of long term care insurance is that they will engage a professional geriatric care planner to plan your care needs as you become less capable to do so on your own.  But be forewarned:  Medicare will not pay for this, and Medicaid will kick in only after you have exhausted all personal assets.  Having a plan, with no way to pay for that plan, makes not a feasible plan.  If you do not have LTCI and/or sufficient savings, there may be other community services that can help.  I will discuss them in later posts. 

So, in conclusion, memorize this mantra:

Picture it

Just let it happen

See the plan, Danny

Be The Plan

Be The Plan

            - Chevy Chase, Caddyshack (sort of)

So, what IS the plan?

I don’t know yet. 

Michael