Independent Living

WHAT DOES INDEPENDENT LIVING MEAN

Independent Living is what those of us who no longer live with our parents have been doing since moving out.  We take care of ourselves.  We are in control of our lives.

In the context of eldering (the process of elderfication), IL means continuing to be in control in our own, preferred space.  Living "at home."

That does not mean that we do not need anyone else's help.  We will at some point likely need help.  But if we don't need too much help, we can continue to function in our own space, and not move into assisted living space.  I suggest that if we plan carefully, we can create, in our own space (our "home"), the characteristics of assisted living so we need not hang out with all those other old people in a more communal setting.

What that involves is, in part:

1.  Making "home" safe so we are less likely to hurt ourselves and therefore need to leave "home".

2.  Finding care givers (health, financial, maintenance and repair, cleaning, transportation, communications, cooking, wine and scotch procurement, etc.) that can replace the things we used to do for ourselves but can no longer do.

There are a lot of private businesses and public agencies that can help identify resources for both of these issues.  For example, this morning I had a coffee with Greg DiGasper, of Dwell At Ease.  Among other things, they perform assessments and provide recommendations for home improvements that will prevent one from ever having to utter those dreaded words, "I've fallen, and I can't reach my wine glass!"

Resources vary by locale, so I am not going to try to list them here.  But if there are any in particular that you would like me to look into as an example, let me know.  Happy to do it.

ONE STRATEGY FOR REMAINING INDEPENDENT

I am going to provide an example of one strategy for extending independence.  Some of you will find this familiar.  May not work for everyone.  In particular, it might only work for someone with enough capital to participate.  I have not done a financial plan for this.

Objective:  Stay in my own space, with my own stuff, forever.  Stay connected with my buds.  Choose which old farts I will hang with.  Share my music with people I know will like it.

Strategy:  Join together with good friends to form a small private independent living community (association,  condominium, partnership, commune?)  Separate, independent living space around  communal space for social activities, visiting children, grandchildren, godchildren, other friends.  Communal space for live-in care givers when needed.  Communal interest in looking out for each other.  Perhaps independent administration of shared services and facilities, group financial and legal support/resources, and long term care planning for the group.  Shared vehicles.  Near-by assisted living and nursing care when needed, where group contact and support can continue.  Carefully crafted "exit strategy" and new member admission standards.

Note:  There is documentation that friends can help friends remain independent better than family.  People will listen to the advice of their friends before family.  At some level, these friends would replace the support of the family you may not have (that is, after all, the premise of this blog) or the family that does not really want to deal with your needs, or that you do not want touching your diaper.

A side benefit of this strategy is that it would seem to be less expensive than living independently in a larger community.  Shared services might mean shared costs.  Again, I do not have a financial plan for this.

This is a means of creating a support network.  It is just one way to approach things.  Not the only solution.  There are several open questions with this particular strategy.  For example, when is the best time to set this up?  Do you develop this community early, while still employed, when you retire, or just before you are ready to move in?  At what age would you likely want to move in - 70, 75, 80?  Do you set it up yourselves, or hire someone to do it for you (sounds like a business plan to me!)  Is there financial help available to set this up?

I am sure a lot of people would not be comfortable in a communal setting.  I would be interested in hearing how others would approach the goal of staying independent as long as possible.  Give me some ideas.

PS:  I saw the most INTERESTING ad on TV last night.  For Depends.  a FASHION ad, as in "no more unsightly panty (diaper) lines".  I'M NOT READY TO THINK ABOUT THAT!

Michael