Confusion. Happens when you eld.

I know that many of you have a lot to say on the subject of this blog.
But, you don't know how to go about leaving a comment.
I must confess that I find it confusing myself.
So, here is how to do it.

Two ways:

1)  Open your browser and to to http://mdw-growingold.blogspot.com/.  You will see all of the posts.  At the bottom of each post is a link to make a comment.  Feel free to be pithy or pissy, as you wish.

2)  If you are receiving an email with each new post, you will find, at the bottom of the email, the following message:

"You are subscribed to email updates from Growing Old Alone - Navigating Retirement and Aging Without the Support of Family." This link will take you to the blog, where once again you may be as insightful or unsightly as you wish.  If you wish to receive these emails but are not, go back to #1 above and, at the bottom of the posts you will find a box in which you can enter your email address, at which you will receive notice each time there is a post.  Given the (low) volume of comments received, I do not know if you will receive an email with comments.   Hope this helps.  If it does not, leave me a comment and I'll work on it. Michael

Involvement keeps the mind sharp.

Having a purpose helps focus the mind and keep elders from getting lazy.  Continuing to be active in the things that interest us is a technique for keeping the mind sharp and life interesting.  Often as we get older we begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world.  It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that serve as an inspiration for us all. Harold Schlumberg is one such a person: Harold says: "I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?' Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine.  It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling.  I do it every day and I really enjoy it." Harold is an inspiration to us all. Stay busy, my friends. Michael

A Sensitive Subject

I have been siting on a draft of this for some time, reluctant to post it.  I have been worried that some of my readers might find it offensive, and that others might respond and take the blog in a direction that is not my intent.  But upon reflection, I realize that we are all mature readers (some literally, some figuratively, some both), and that as we eld there are awkward subjects that we do need to talk about.

One of our commenters touched on a subject that we have not yet addressed - "end of life" planning, or rather, "ending of life" planning. We have not yet gotten to the subject of managing hospice care and palliative care at the end of life when there is ostensibly no one to do the managing for us.  I am still not sure how to approach that subject.  How do we make sure our wishes are carried out at the end?  We will need some help figuring that one out.  Any ideas would be appreciated.

But what if we get to the point, or anticipate at some time getting to the point, or want to plan on what to do if and when we are at the point of knowing, that to go on is pointless.  That pain, isolation, hardship and embarrassment for ourselves and our loved ones are are all that is left for as long as we continue to breathe, and that it is time to call it quits?

Assisted-suicide is legal in several jurisdictions, including Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Switzerland and three American states (Oregon, Washington, and Montana).  There are a number of links to Hemlock Societies (you remember hemlock, the poison of choice for Socrates) and other sites on the internet that may or may not be useful if one wants to plan on taking advantage of assistance, or not being able to take advantage of assistance, when the time has come.

 But the thought of this poses a number of dilemas:  was Hemingway being a Man by ending it when he knew there was nothing left for him, or was he being incredibly rude and selfish by making a dramatic mess at the front door.  Does anyone have a right to make what seems such a personal decision when it affects so many others.  What happens when we are diagnosed with early stage ALS and are facing a rapid, steep and discomforting decline?  If we find the thought abhorrent now, will we think differently then?

I am young enough and healthy enough that I have not felt compelled to give it much thought.  Thus I do not plan to do much research on this subject for this blog at this time - my focus is on LIVING with dignity, and not DYING with dignity.  But it would be interesting to hear what others think.  Should we discuss it here?  Is dying a right over which we should be able to exercise control, or is it a privilege granted us by Nature at its/her/his convenience?

Michael

It is really about self-reliance.

Fidelity's most recent report on the cost of health care in retirement (see Fidelity® Estimates Couples Retiring In 2012 Will Need $240,000 To Pay Medical Expenses Throughout Retirement at http://www.fidelity.com/inside-fidelity/individual-investing/retiree-health-care-costs-2012) offers some sobering statistics on what it costs to get elded and not have, or not be able to have, a job or other source of income other than Social Security.

If you were retiring now and would be relying on Social Security as your primary source of income in retirement, by 2027 your health care costs would consume approximately 61% of your SS benefits according to the most recent Fidelity study (see URL above).  These costs represent stuff that your Medicare will not cover.  Medical costs are still going up faster that SS cost of living adjustments and salary increases, so the average percentage will be increasing to the 61% over time.  And of course medical needs are increasing as we get older as well.  Fidelity's estimate includes the out-of-pocked costs for deductibles, co-payments, premiums for optional coverage for doctor visits and prescription drugs, hearing aids, eyeglasses, and other items not covered by Medicare.  It does not include any costs associated with nursing-home care and applies to retirees with traditional Medicare insurance coverage.

So, what does all this have to do with Growing Old Alone?  These are, of course, issues that we are all facing, regardless of whether or not we have given birth to cute little annuities (ie children).  But for us who are childless, these stats point towards lessons we should learn now, if we have not already.  These lessons include:

• Take advantage of every opportunity to remain self-reliant.
• Be diligent in protecting your health and your mind.
• Save.  Now.  It is not too late.
• Don't count on SS providing a decent standard of living as you eld.  SS was never intended as a retirement plan.  It is a program designed to keep you from having to live in a cardboard box.
• Consider working as long as you can.  It may not be what you want, but it may be what you need.
• Develop a financial plan early.  And be realistic about it (see earlier posts).
• Develop good mental habits early (see earlier posts).

No one is going to pay for your health care as you age but you, unless you become destitute and qualify for Medicaid.  You've already paid for Medicare (those annoying payroll deductions), you may have already paid (if it makes sense for you - see earlier posts) for long term care insurance.  You will pay for any further medical costs not covered by these two sources from whatever other assets or income you have.  This is strong argument for self reliance (that could be the subject of a whole 'nother blog).

If reliance on SS and Medicaid is your plan, then, given the rhetoric in Washington these days, I would advise looking for a comfortable cardboard box now.

Michael

More on Meditation from TED Talks

Andy Puddicombe: All it takes is 10 mindful minutes

http://www.ted.com/talks/andy_puddicombe_all_it_takes_is_10_mindful_minutes.html

Michael

Helpful publications

Here are a couple of publications on aging.

At the following site you will find a short down-loadable book on aging parents (or, in our case, non-parents - we are aging just like them!).

"You & Your Aging Parents: A Family Approach to Lifelong Health, Wellness & Care." Think of it as  "You & Your Aging Self."

agingredefined.org

Here is another one, on preventing fraud.  We have discussed some of this in earlier posts.  "Protect Your Pocketbook: Tips to Avoid Financial Exploitation"

 www.n4a.org

I have saved them if you need copies and cannot down-load them.

Margo, thanks for the links!

Michael

Downsizing

We recognize that there will come a time when we will need to move to more age-appropriate lodgings.   Our best guess is that time will arrive around age 75, for us.  A that age, the stairs in our home will become a challenge.  We have three flights of stairs, counting the basement, covering four levels.  The upper stairs are plenty wide, but the basement stairs, leading to the laundry (and wine cellar) are tight.  I am already finding it disconcerting to come down the stairs with my ever-present reading glasses perched on my nose.  More than once I've had trouble finding that last step.

So a move seems inevitable, and we are planning for it.  But there are some important pitfalls in downsizing that must be carefully considered.

The first in my mind is financial.  We do not consider our house a financial asset.  It is where we live.  It is where we keep our stuff.  It is not a piggy bank.  We have been fortunate enough (I like to think we have been smart enough) to have sufficient financial assets so that, with luck, we will not need to monetize the equity in our house just to survive.  Whether lucky or smart, we are blessed.  So, when we DO sell and downsize, we can, if we wish, put much or all of the resulting equity back into living facilities and to maintain our preferred lifestyle.  Just on one level instead of four.  When we are ready, we may choose to put our equity into a continuous care retirement community (CCRC) such as we have written about in earlier posts.  These facilities usually require a substantial up-front deposit, often well in excess of $100k.  Possibly much more.

Many elders and elder wanna-be's, however, are relying on home equity to supplement Social Security and other retirement funds for living expenses.  In this case, sale and downsizing may be a must.  This requires very careful planning.  Having to sell when the housing market is depressed can be devastating, so flexibility in timing is important.  Also necessary is a realistic expectation of how much equity can be monetized after investing in another place to live.  Don't forget, if you sell it, you still need someplace to live!

A smaller home may not result in lower expenses.  Most people do not move that far from their pre-retirement home (there have been studies about this), so there may not be that much difference in basic living expenses.  Food, utilities, even property taxes - the valuation on the new house may be more than the old if it is a newer construction.  And without the comfort of the old place and the old stuff, you may be seeking more entertainment and activities away from your new, boring home.

For me, the most frightening financial pitfall is trying to sell a home after already having committed to buying another or moving to the CCRC.  Having two places to live is beyond our abilities, financially and emotionally.  Best to sell first, even it if means living in a rental for 6 months or more.  In fact, living in a rental for 6 months in the community where you think you want to live will give you a chance to see if you really do want to live there.  A trial marriage, if you will, with full privileges but no long term commitment.  Not a bad strategy, in my humble opinion.

The second pitfall is stuff.  You got it.  What ya gonna do with it?  The collection of animal shaped cream pitchers.  The cow collection (don't ask).  The eight boxes of holiday ornaments and decorations.  The 200 pound band saw in the basement.  What if the new kitchen does not have enough counter space for the espresso machine.  Or enough wall space for the paintings.  You can't just leave this stuff on the curb or give it to Goodwill.  Maybe an estate sale will help, but don't expect to get a lot for the cows.  And be prepared for the trauma of disposing of so many of the markers of your life.  Things are tied to the events, places and people in our lives. They can have deep meaning.

There are, of course, people you can pay to help you with downsizing.  Moving consultants.  Downsizing consultants.  Psychiatrists.  

Now, for some good news:  for those of us with no adult children to provide long term care, there are no adult children to argue about wanting you to keep the house they grew up in or the sofa they have been storing in your den.

So, for the clientele of this blog, here is another bullet point for your planning documents.  Think about the implications before you are too feeble to think about the implications.  Plan.  Organize.  Downsize with caution.  Be well, and prosper.

Michael