Monday, March 25, 2013

Co-Housing - Why didn't I think of that?

Actually, I did think of that, or at least one variation of the concept.

Cohousing (in spite of my spell checker, there is no hyphen) is a concept that took root in Denmark quite some time ago, and has only more recently become popular in the US.  Cohousing is a type of collaborative housing in which residents actively participate in the design and operation of their own neighborhoods.  These neighborhoods can be in rural Kansas, an old New England mill building, or in the middle of a borough of NYC.  They can be new construction or re-construction of existing properties.  They can be family oriented (ie kids, playgrounds, schooling) or adult oriented ("Help, Lewie, I've fallen and I can't find my scotch!")  There are over 125 such communities in the US.  Actually, there are probably more, but they just don't identify with the name or enter into the statistics.

There are six defining characteristics of cohousing, per the Cohousing Association of the United States (www.cohousing.org).  They are:


1. Participatory process. Future residents participate in the design of the community so that it meets their needs. Some cohousing communities are initiated or driven by a developer. In those cases, if the developer brings the future resident group into the process late in the planning, the residents will have less input into the design. A well-designed, pedestrian-oriented community without significant resident participation in the planning may be “cohousing-inspired,” but it is not a cohousing community.

2. Neighborhood design. The physical layout and orientation of the buildings (the site plan) encourage a sense of community. For example, the private residences are clustered on the site, leaving more shared open space. The dwellings typically face each other across a pedestrian street or courtyard, with cars parked on the periphery. Often, the front doorway of every home affords a view of the common house. What far outweighs any specifics, however, is the intention to create a strong sense of community, with design as one of the facilitators.

3. Common facilities. Common facilities are designed for daily use, are an integral part of the community, and are always supplemental to the private residences. The common house typically includes a common kitchen, dining area, sitting area, children's playroom and laundry, and also may contain a workshop, library, exercise room, crafts room and/or one or two guest rooms. Except on very tight urban sites, cohousing communities often have playground equipment, lawns and gardens as well. Since the buildings are clustered, larger sites may retain several or many acres of undeveloped shared open space.  (And perhaps a dock and nearby moorings for us sailors.)

4. Resident management. Residents manage their own cohousing communities, and also perform much of the work required to maintain the property. They participate in the preparation of common meals, and meet regularly to solve problems and develop policies for the community.

5. Non-hierarchical structure and decision-making. Leadership roles naturally exist in cohousing communities, however no one person (or persons) has authority over others. Most groups start with one or two “burning souls.” As people join the group, each person takes on one or more roles consistent with his or her skills, abilities or interests. Most cohousing groups make all of their decisions by consensus, and, although many groups have a policy for voting if the group cannot reach consensus after a number of attempts, it is rarely or never necessary to resort to voting.

6. No shared community economy. The community is not a source of income for its members. Occasionally, a cohousing community will pay one of its residents to do a specific (usually time-limited) task, but more typically the work will be considered that member's contribution to the shared responsibilities.

There are a number of architectural firms and other organizations that can help a group interested in cohousing to pull their facility together, from site selection, to design, to organization, to construction, to  "lets move in".  There are also brokers that can help you find existing cohousing communities with units for sale (yes, as elders we must anticipate the inevitable turnover).

It sounds a lot like the communes of the 60's and 70's, but for adults.  As we know, there are a lot of adults who are getting older and want to remain independent as long as possible.  Cohousing can be a means of doing that.

My idea, discussed with friends for a decade or more and described briefly in this blog in April of 2012 ("Independent Living"), was, without my knowing it, a cohousing concept.

  •  Get together with a bunch of really good friends.
  • Jointly buy a property with enough room for a common house and individual living units.
  • Have room for our stuff like boats and cars.
  • Have room for gardens, workshops, studios, to be as self-reliant as we want.
  • Watch over each other's stuff and feed each other's pets when someone wants to go on a cruise to the Bahamas or live in Paris for a year.
  • Support each other for as long as we can stand each other.
  • Have room for visitors in the common house.
  • Have room for a live-in caregiver in the common house when that is necessary.  

Cohousing would not be for everyone.  It is tough to come up with a common vision, acceptable financing, personalities (seeing your good friends all the time is not the same as getting together once a year in Charleston to shop, eat and drink), living standards, outside interests, understanding of shared responsibilities.  And being pedestrian oriented, there could be less privacy than in traditional housing (as I look out my window at our back yard, I realize that I LIKE our back yard with its hedge that screens out the rest of the world).    It's complicated.  But for the right group of people, with the right design parameters, it could be, I suspect, very satisfying.

If structured properly, I think this could be a substitute for a Continuing Care Retirement Community, especially if there were a nursing home, rehab or other medical facilities nearby.  I have been thinking that a CCRC would likely be part of our aging strategy.  But, who knows, maybe some day we will actually pull together the Wooster's Retreat after all.

Who would have thought that I was such a visionary, a "burning soul".

Michael

Friday, March 15, 2013

An Example of why the habit of skepticism is so important

Received: A sophisticated looking response request card addressed to:  Me

HERE IS WHAT THEY SAID:

Content text:

PERSONAL Business Mail
2013 FORM AN99C

Social Security Taxes 2013 Update

Social Security legislation has been passed by Congress which changes your benefits.  There are now provisions to hlpe seniors from having to pay more.

Qualified seniors may potentially pay less on thier Social Secutiry Benefits.  Reutrn the attached postage paid card to learn:
  • When should you apply for Social Security?
  • What claiming strategies can you use?
  • How are your benefits calculated?
  • How can you apply for a tax credit?
For a FREE personalized Social Security Timing report, return the atatched card within 5 days or to go to www.freessreport.com to receive your report sooner.

Reply card addressed to:

Consumer Inquiry
PO Box 55o
Fall River, MA  02722-9910

Reply card requirements:

Signature
Spouse's
Date of Birth (for both)
Phone Number (NEEDED FOR DELIVERY
E-Mail (PLEASE PRINT CLEARLY)
I am currently receiving Social Security.  Please check YES or NO.

OUT OF HABIT, HOW DO I REACT:

Someone wants to know my date of birth or SS number or other personal data.
WHY?
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?  The address is pretty vague.  
There is a web site to visit.  I DON'T GO TO JUST ANY WEB SITE.
If I already receive my Social Security benefits, why do I need to know when I should apply for them?
I DON'T PAY ANYTHING FOR MY BENEFITS, DO I?

ACTION:

I AM SUSPICIOUS.
I NEVER GIVE MY PHONE NUMBER OR DATE OF BIRTH TO ANYONE I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK I'LL ASK SOMEONE BEFORE I DO ANYTHING.

AFTER LOOKING A LITTLE FURTHER:

As search of the Social Security web site (the real one) reveals no Form AN99C.

A general WWW search for Form AN99C reveals that this is the part number for an electronic component for a DC10 aircraft.  

The web site contains a picture of a cute couple, an official looking seal with the words "SOCIAL SECURITY SPECIALIST", and a disclaimer "c 2012 all rights reserved.  This site is not connected with, affiliated with or endorsed by the United States government or the Social Security Administration."  It is one page that requests the following information:

Name
Phone
Email
Zipcode

It also asks for a mailer code from the postcard.  The site will do nothing without all this data.

I DON'T THINK SO!

However, I do need to know something about social security.  For example, spousal benefits - how do they work?  There are alternate strategies for deciding when one spouse starts collecting benefits.  It's complicated.  After doing a little analysis, I will post here some guidance.  If you understand this subject, please post a comment.  Did I mention that it's complicated?

Michael

Some Statistics

From AARP Public Policy Institute and other sources:


  • 16 percent of frail adults aged 85 and older have no surviving children to help provide their caregiving.
  • By 2040, then the oldest boomers are in their 90's, that number will rise to 21% (how do they know that?).
  • More than one fifth of boomers are childless
  • Another 17% had only one child.
  • Only 37 percent of older adults who aren't in nursing homes or hospice care (and only 15% of all adults) have completed legal proxies specifying who can make health care decisions on their behalf. (Notice how the insertion of the word "only" changes the perceived quality of the statistic.)

Michael

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Keys Please II

On October 15, 2012, I posted a blog entry called "The Keys, Please" concerning the question how to know when it is time to stop driving.  The following link is to a document called a Family Driving Agreement.  I think this is an elegant solution to the issue.  It clarifies a specific plan for who will make the determination, and what the consequences of that determination are.

Of course it may not work.  If we have lost our marbles, we may no longer remember that we committed to the agreement, or recognize the trusted party.  Still, it is a stake in the ground.  By doing so while our minds are solvent, we just may have planted a seed of realization that may take root when our minds have dissolved.  It is better than nothing.  And, it just may even be legally binding (I have not asked a lawyer about this).

The document looks something like this:



Family Driving Agreement

Dear Family (or To Whom It May Concern); 

As I continue through the aging process, I realize there may come a day when the
advantages of my continuing to drive are outweighed by the safety risk I pose not only to
myself, but also to other motorists.

I want to continue driving for as long as is safely possible, but when my driving is no
longer safe, I will trust:
___________________________________________________
(name of trusted friend or relative)

when he/she tells me that I need to discontinue driving, or to continue driving with
certain restrictions.

I will maintain my integrity by listening to and accepting this individual’s driving-related
recommendations, thereby ensuring not only my safety, but also the safety of the
motoring public.

Signed ______________________________________________ Date _____________
(your signature)

Signed _____________________________________________ Date _____________
(by person named above)

Witness _____________________________________________ Date ____________

Keeping Us Safe
Proudly Serving America’s Senior Drivers andTheir Families
www.keepingussafe.org
877-907-8841
Copyright © 2011 Keeping Us Safe, LLC All Rights Reserved



A link to the actual, nicely formatted document is:

http://keepingussafe.org/linked/familydrivingagreement100111.pdf

I have saved a copy in my "getting elded" file and will sign one.  Soon.  Really, I will.

Michael

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Confusion. Happens when you eld.

I know that many of you have a lot to say on the subject of this blog.
But, you don't know how to go about leaving a comment.
I must confess that I find it confusing myself.
So, here is how to do it.

Two ways:

1)  Open your browser and to to http://mdw-growingold.blogspot.com/.  You will see all of the posts.  At the bottom of each post is a link to make a comment.  Feel free to be pithy or pissy, as you wish.

2)  If you are receiving an email with each new post, you will find, at the bottom of the email, the following message:


This link will take you to the blog, where once again you may be as insightful or unsightly as you wish.  If you wish to receive these emails but are not, go back to #1 above and, at the bottom of the posts you will find a box in which you can enter your email address, at which you will receive notice each time there is a post.  Given the (low) volume of comments received, I do not know if you will receive an email with comments.  

Hope this helps.  If it does not, leave me a comment and I'll work on it.

Michael

Monday, February 25, 2013

Involvement keeps the mind sharp.

Having a purpose helps focus the mind and keep elders from getting lazy.  Continuing to be active in the things that interest us is a technique for keeping the mind sharp and life interesting.  Often as we get older we begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world.  It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that serve as an inspiration for us all.

Harold Schlumberg is one such a person:



Harold says:

"I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'

Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine.  It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling.  I do it every day and I really enjoy it."

Harold is an inspiration to us all.

Stay busy, my friends.

Michael

A Sensitive Subject

I have been siting on a draft of this for some time, reluctant to post it.  I have been worried that some of my readers might find it offensive, and that others might respond and take the blog in a direction that is not my intent.  But upon reflection, I realize that we are all mature readers (some literally, some figuratively, some both), and that as we eld there are awkward subjects that we do need to talk about.

One of our commenters touched on a subject that we have not yet addressed - "end of life" planning, or rather, "ending of life" planning. We have not yet gotten to the subject of managing hospice care and palliative care at the end of life when there is ostensibly no one to do the managing for us.  I am still not sure how to approach that subject.  How do we make sure our wishes are carried out at the end?  We will need some help figuring that one out.  Any ideas would be appreciated.

But what if we get to the point, or anticipate at some time getting to the point, or want to plan on what to do if and when we are at the point of knowing, that to go on is pointless.  That pain, isolation, hardship and embarrassment for ourselves and our loved ones are are all that is left for as long as we continue to breathe, and that it is time to call it quits?

Assisted-suicide is legal in several jurisdictions, including Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Switzerland and three American states (Oregon, Washington, and Montana).  There are a number of links to Hemlock Societies (you remember hemlock, the poison of choice for Socrates) and other sites on the internet that may or may not be useful if one wants to plan on taking advantage of assistance, or not being able to take advantage of assistance, when the time has come.

 But the thought of this poses a number of dilemas:  was Hemingway being a Man by ending it when he knew there was nothing left for him, or was he being incredibly rude and selfish by making a dramatic mess at the front door.  Does anyone have a right to make what seems such a personal decision when it affects so many others.  What happens when we are diagnosed with early stage ALS and are facing a rapid, steep and discomforting decline?  If we find the thought abhorrent now, will we think differently then?

I am young enough and healthy enough that I have not felt compelled to give it much thought.  Thus I do not plan to do much research on this subject for this blog at this time - my focus is on LIVING with dignity, and not DYING with dignity.  But it would be interesting to hear what others think.  Should we discuss it here?  Is dying a right over which we should be able to exercise control, or is it a privilege granted us by Nature at its/her/his convenience?

Michael