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Michael
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Really, I'm just not hungry.
The Ethicist column in the New York Times Magazine recently (November 24, 2013) addressed the ethical implications of the imposition of forced feeding (tubes) when a prisoner goes on a hunger strike. The conclusion was that if the inmate’s intention was solely to make a political statement protesting terms of detention, to illustrate a social point, “using the deterioration of his body as a means of making a public argument,” then no forced feeding would be ethically required. If the intention of the inmate was to commit suicide, that the prisoner had simply lost the will to live, then the imposition of forced feeding was appropriate, even required. The prison had an obligation to prevent the suicide of an inmate, whether by sudden hanging or by self imposed slow starvation.
Now fast forward to your hypothetical last visit to the hospital. You have provided your advanced directive. You have told all your caregivers, including your primary care physician, your wishes for care should you become incapacitated. You are at peace with life and ready for death. There is no point to continue in pain. You have rationally explained your actions. You have stopped eating to hasten the end.
Would the same ethical obligation apply to the hospital medical staff? By not inserting a feeding tube and allowing you to refuse nourishment, are they assisting in a suicide? I would think not, since your wishes have been carefully laid out in your advanced directive, at a time when you were clearly rational. But as the debate about assisted suicide continues, I wonder how the medical community in our area will respond. As noted in earlier posts (“A Sensitive Subject”, February 25, 2013), assisted-suicide is legal in several jurisdictions, including Belgium, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Switzerland and three American states (Oregon, Washington, and Montana). Does that mean that the withholding by request of a feeding tube from an otherwise functioning body but with questionable viability in any other jurisdiction constitutes assistance?
Without the advocacy of family members, how can you be assured that your final wishes will be carried out? This is a conversation that we should all, at the right time, have with our primary care physician and closest caregivers? I am not advocating this as an end of life strategy, but simply suggesting that it is something we should think about, and more importantly, talk about. No one else will do this for us.
Michael
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Strategy: Develop habits that stave off negatives of olderness
The following link is to an NPR story about a Mediterranean style diet's effects on both physical and mental aging. This relates back to our strategy of developing positive habits now (eating good stuff vs bad stuff) that will tend to lessen the risks or effects of "losing it" down the road.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/11/05/242994376/for-mind-body-study-finds-mediterranean-diet-boosts-both?utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=20131110&utm_source=mostemailed
However, when you listen to this, ask yourself, "What about MEN?" The study consisted of all women. Are men so hopelessly lost that we cannot walk away from our steak and potatoes? Is there no hope that we can keep up with our smart-eating women, so we might as well continue to clog our arteries and die with a beer in our hands and a smile on our faces?
Maybe all these 90 year old smart gorgeous active women will have realized that life is better without those 90 year old decrepit smelly annoying men constantly in need of..........what? Something? They don't even know. They just need.
As for me: "Mademoiselle, s'il vous plait, Je voudrais un salad nicoise." (See: "Strategy - use your brain, learn a language.")
Michael
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2013/11/05/242994376/for-mind-body-study-finds-mediterranean-diet-boosts-both?utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=20131110&utm_source=mostemailed
However, when you listen to this, ask yourself, "What about MEN?" The study consisted of all women. Are men so hopelessly lost that we cannot walk away from our steak and potatoes? Is there no hope that we can keep up with our smart-eating women, so we might as well continue to clog our arteries and die with a beer in our hands and a smile on our faces?
Maybe all these 90 year old smart gorgeous active women will have realized that life is better without those 90 year old decrepit smelly annoying men constantly in need of..........what? Something? They don't even know. They just need.
As for me: "Mademoiselle, s'il vous plait, Je voudrais un salad nicoise." (See: "Strategy - use your brain, learn a language.")
Michael
Monday, September 30, 2013
POLST
One major concern about being childless is not having someone watching over your health care. Things can happen that we may not want to happen when we encounter a health care system with rigid guidelines on acceptable and unacceptable treatment. Advanced Directives are one way to maintain control. A POLST form extends that control one more level. See below for a description of POLST and the difference between POLST and Advanced Directives.
From POLST.org:
The National POLST Paradigm Program is an approach to end-of-life planning that emphasizes patients’ wishes about the care they receive. The POLST Paradigm – which stands for Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment – is both a holistic method of planning for end-of-life care and a specific set of medical orders that ensure patients’ wishes are honored. The POLST Paradigm is built upon conversations between patients, loved ones, and health care professionals, during which patients can determine the extent of care they wish to receive. As a result of these conversations, patients may elect to create a POLST form, which translates their wishes into actionable medical orders. The POLST form assures patients that health care professionals will provide only the care that patients themselves wish to receive, and decreases the frequency of medical errors.
From POLST.org:
The National POLST Paradigm Program is an approach to end-of-life planning that emphasizes patients’ wishes about the care they receive. The POLST Paradigm – which stands for Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment – is both a holistic method of planning for end-of-life care and a specific set of medical orders that ensure patients’ wishes are honored. The POLST Paradigm is built upon conversations between patients, loved ones, and health care professionals, during which patients can determine the extent of care they wish to receive. As a result of these conversations, patients may elect to create a POLST form, which translates their wishes into actionable medical orders. The POLST form assures patients that health care professionals will provide only the care that patients themselves wish to receive, and decreases the frequency of medical errors.
Does a POLST form replace the Advance Directive?
The POLST form complements the Advance Directive and is not intended to replace it. An Advance Directive is necessary to appoint a legal health care representative and provide instructions forfuture life-sustaining treatments. The Advance Directive is recommended for all adults, regardless of their health status.
A POLST form should accompany an Advance Directive when appropriate. For more information go to: www.caringinfo.org.
What are the primary differences between an Advance Directive and a POLST form?
ADVANCE DIRECTIVE
- For anyone 18 and older
- Provides instructions for future treatment
- Appoints a Health Care Representative
- Does not guide Emergency Medical Personnel
- Guides inpatient treatment decisions when made available
POLST
- For persons with serious illness — at any age
- Provides medical orders for current treatment
- Guides actions by Emergency Medical Personnel when made available
- Guides inpatient treatment decisions when made available
Friday, September 27, 2013
Our Stuff
(This is an update to this previous post in order to test e-mail notifications)
Why do we have the stuff we have? What does our stuff say about us? Does our stuff have any value, any character beyond its stuffy-ness, or does its existence have value only because of our own existence? Would Jack Handey or George Carlin have to say about this stuff?
We have a lot of stuff. Some day that stuff will have to move on. Our relationship with it will be severed, and some new relationships will be established. For some stuff it will be a relationship with friends and relatives. Charities may become involved. Some may find its way onto a barge or bale moving to a needy country. For some perhaps the curb, and the landfill for others.
Our exterior stuff is a reflection of our interior character. We dress the way we do because of the image we want to project. Our furniture also reflects this image. The couch is about comfort, yes, but also about style. It fits with the room that is painted in the color that frames the paintings that show how we appreciate abstract constructs that support the image that we are smart and sophisticated. Cars, houses, boats, they all say something about who we think are, who we want to be and what we believe is important.
Our stuff also gives us pleasure and comfort. Our things engender feelings of pride and satisfaction. They trigger introspection and memories. They help us do things we enjoy. They feel, smell and taste good. These are all attributes of a meaningful existence that we do not want to lose of as we age. The necessity of cutting back on our things is complicated.
We are beginning to assess the disposition of our stuff. Our stuff means something to us. We do not want to leave it to the guy with the pickup truck who comes to clean out the garbage in the house the day after we die so our executor can sell the house. Being childless, we do not have the option of letting them settle any stuff-related issues when we are gone. We want to identify proper homes for our stuff now, while we can.
Disposition of these items will require thought. As we age and our horizons move closer, it is important to not strip our lives of all their meaning. Here is one advantage we childless have - if we are careful, we can control our environment, rather than have it imposed by the will of others who will impose what stuff we can afford to carry with us and what must be left behind. We are starting to winnow down our stuff now, in an organized manner while in full control of our faculties. For example, I can anticipate now that the enlarged high school graduation picture of herself will stay with me to the end, but the effort of retaining the framed graph of Napoleon's March to Moscow by Charles Joseph Minard will at some point become too much to bear. I have reconciled myself to parting with it at some point. The framed CPA certificate will be worth nothing to anyone and will soon make nice kindling for the fireplace.
Our stuff is divided into distinct groups. Utility stuff is the stuff of everyday life. Cars. Window air conditioners. The band saw and other tools. Kitchen stuff. Yard stuff. Most of this stuff will have residual monetary value to others, and can be adjusted as our lifestyle changes. We can sell one car when we no longer need two. The lawn mower and hedge trimmers go when we hire the landscape guy to take care of the yard. The tools and furniture go when we move into the assisted living facility. The All-Clad pots go when we start eating in the dining room of the retirement home. The iron skillets and espresso maker, though, I am taking with me.
Much of the artful stuff will also likely find a home easily. Paintings and posters remain interesting. Rare restaurant plates, hand crafted glassware, figurines (why do we collect figurines?), hurricane lamps. We are not so unique that someone else will not have the same taste in decorative stuff (the disposition of the collection of animal-shaped creamers may be a little more problematic). We find all these things pleasant. Looking at them brings pleasure and fond memories. Some more than others, some more for her than for him. Some we keep because they were gifts and to dispose would be to offend.
And books. Oh, BOOKS! We have hundreds of them. Fiction, biography, history, instructional, referential and reverential. Humor. Plants. How to build a deck. How to install Windows 2.0. Some books we keep because we want to read them again. Some because they contain gems of wisdom to which we wish to have future access. And some we keep just because they were great, and it is comforting to give them a glance and remember the stories. When space no longer permits retention, call your local library. They are always looking for used books to sell at the annual Book Fair. They may even add one or two rare ones to their collections.
Historical stuff will be a little more tricky. Our histories are not our own. Our lives are linked with those of many others, and the documents of our lives may be of some interest to those others. While we have no children, we do have other family, friends, godchildren, organizational associations, geographical links, etc. So now is the time to start thinking about who might be interested in pieces of our historical stuff.
Historical stuff consists of:
Memorabilia and personal documents: same as pictures. No one will want them. Strategy: look at them once in a while, keep them as long as they give you pleasure and you have room, but at some point pitch them. Think of it this way: That stuff represents things we did in the past. We are in the NOW. We are creating NEW memories, and that is more important than dusty old past memories.
We have a lot of family historical documents. They include: a family geneology that goes back to the 1500's; old photos from when our parents were married, our siblings were young and our extensive family (Mennonite farmers from Kansas) was close-knit. Some of this might have value to a historical society somewhere, or some younger family members from another branch (my branch ends with me). We might box them up and send them to the church back home and let the cousins et al pick through them. We will keep it as long as we find it interesting and entertaining. But, again, we do not want all that history cluttering up what future we have left. "Scrape 'em off, Claire!" (-Bill Murray, Scroodged)
Business and financial documents: keep a list of recommended retention dates and every January go through them and shred (do not just pitch, but shred) the old ones. Make this one of the good habits you carry with you. Start now. Google Records Retention to find many links with helpful information. It is not complicated. Here are two such links:
http://www.shred-corp.com/guidlines.pdf
http://www.pncpa.com/Pdfs/RecordsRetentionSchIndividuals.pdf
Personal documents: Stash them in a safe deposit box for security. Your executor and whoever writes your obituary may need them. Let them worry about ultimate disposition.
Things of value: There are a couple of ways to handle this stuff, but both require you to figure out who you want to eventually have them. You can put them in a box, seal the box, and put a mailing label on it for the intended recipient. Or you can identify them in your will. I like the box route, because at some point this stuff will just get in the way. Get ready to distribute the treasure, and then do it while you can still control the process. Who knows, if the recipient is pleasantly surprised by your generosity, maybe they will visit and change your diaper each week.
As for the rest of the crap:
Michael
Why do we have the stuff we have? What does our stuff say about us? Does our stuff have any value, any character beyond its stuffy-ness, or does its existence have value only because of our own existence? Would Jack Handey or George Carlin have to say about this stuff?
We have a lot of stuff. Some day that stuff will have to move on. Our relationship with it will be severed, and some new relationships will be established. For some stuff it will be a relationship with friends and relatives. Charities may become involved. Some may find its way onto a barge or bale moving to a needy country. For some perhaps the curb, and the landfill for others.
Our exterior stuff is a reflection of our interior character. We dress the way we do because of the image we want to project. Our furniture also reflects this image. The couch is about comfort, yes, but also about style. It fits with the room that is painted in the color that frames the paintings that show how we appreciate abstract constructs that support the image that we are smart and sophisticated. Cars, houses, boats, they all say something about who we think are, who we want to be and what we believe is important.
Our stuff also gives us pleasure and comfort. Our things engender feelings of pride and satisfaction. They trigger introspection and memories. They help us do things we enjoy. They feel, smell and taste good. These are all attributes of a meaningful existence that we do not want to lose of as we age. The necessity of cutting back on our things is complicated.
We are beginning to assess the disposition of our stuff. Our stuff means something to us. We do not want to leave it to the guy with the pickup truck who comes to clean out the garbage in the house the day after we die so our executor can sell the house. Being childless, we do not have the option of letting them settle any stuff-related issues when we are gone. We want to identify proper homes for our stuff now, while we can.
Disposition of these items will require thought. As we age and our horizons move closer, it is important to not strip our lives of all their meaning. Here is one advantage we childless have - if we are careful, we can control our environment, rather than have it imposed by the will of others who will impose what stuff we can afford to carry with us and what must be left behind. We are starting to winnow down our stuff now, in an organized manner while in full control of our faculties. For example, I can anticipate now that the enlarged high school graduation picture of herself will stay with me to the end, but the effort of retaining the framed graph of Napoleon's March to Moscow by Charles Joseph Minard will at some point become too much to bear. I have reconciled myself to parting with it at some point. The framed CPA certificate will be worth nothing to anyone and will soon make nice kindling for the fireplace.
Utility Stuff Strategy: Be realistic about when you no longer need it, and get rid of it.
Much of the artful stuff will also likely find a home easily. Paintings and posters remain interesting. Rare restaurant plates, hand crafted glassware, figurines (why do we collect figurines?), hurricane lamps. We are not so unique that someone else will not have the same taste in decorative stuff (the disposition of the collection of animal-shaped creamers may be a little more problematic). We find all these things pleasant. Looking at them brings pleasure and fond memories. Some more than others, some more for her than for him. Some we keep because they were gifts and to dispose would be to offend.
And books. Oh, BOOKS! We have hundreds of them. Fiction, biography, history, instructional, referential and reverential. Humor. Plants. How to build a deck. How to install Windows 2.0. Some books we keep because we want to read them again. Some because they contain gems of wisdom to which we wish to have future access. And some we keep just because they were great, and it is comforting to give them a glance and remember the stories. When space no longer permits retention, call your local library. They are always looking for used books to sell at the annual Book Fair. They may even add one or two rare ones to their collections.
Artful Stuff Strategy: Keep it while it gives pleasure, but internalize the concept
of gradually letting go. Don't let it become junk.
Historical stuff consists of:
- Pictures of us, family, friends, places.
- Memorabilia of events. (programs, song lyrics, tchotchkes)
- Memorabilia of activities. (charts, maps, log books, journals)
- Personal historical documents. (expired passports, birth certificates, awards)
- Family historical documents. (parental records such as death certificates, photos, geneologies)
- Business and financial documents. (bank statements, tax returns)
- Personal documents. (birth certificates, etc.)
- Things of value (Redwood Library stock certificate, coin collections).
- Crap. (pretty much all of the above)
Memorabilia and personal documents: same as pictures. No one will want them. Strategy: look at them once in a while, keep them as long as they give you pleasure and you have room, but at some point pitch them. Think of it this way: That stuff represents things we did in the past. We are in the NOW. We are creating NEW memories, and that is more important than dusty old past memories.
We have a lot of family historical documents. They include: a family geneology that goes back to the 1500's; old photos from when our parents were married, our siblings were young and our extensive family (Mennonite farmers from Kansas) was close-knit. Some of this might have value to a historical society somewhere, or some younger family members from another branch (my branch ends with me). We might box them up and send them to the church back home and let the cousins et al pick through them. We will keep it as long as we find it interesting and entertaining. But, again, we do not want all that history cluttering up what future we have left. "Scrape 'em off, Claire!" (-Bill Murray, Scroodged)
Historical Stuff Strategy: Find homes for it early and let it go.
Business and financial documents: keep a list of recommended retention dates and every January go through them and shred (do not just pitch, but shred) the old ones. Make this one of the good habits you carry with you. Start now. Google Records Retention to find many links with helpful information. It is not complicated. Here are two such links:
http://www.shred-corp.com/guidlines.pdf
http://www.pncpa.com/Pdfs/RecordsRetentionSchIndividuals.pdf
Business and Financial Documents Strategy: Shred, don't dump.
Personal documents: Stash them in a safe deposit box for security. Your executor and whoever writes your obituary may need them. Let them worry about ultimate disposition.
Personal Documents Strategy: Keep 'em.
Things of value: There are a couple of ways to handle this stuff, but both require you to figure out who you want to eventually have them. You can put them in a box, seal the box, and put a mailing label on it for the intended recipient. Or you can identify them in your will. I like the box route, because at some point this stuff will just get in the way. Get ready to distribute the treasure, and then do it while you can still control the process. Who knows, if the recipient is pleasantly surprised by your generosity, maybe they will visit and change your diaper each week.
Things of Value Strategy: Controlled distribution.
As for the rest of the crap:
Crap Strategy: You Know!
Michael
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Summary of Strategies Thus Far
I think it is time to do a short summary of the trategies that we have discussed so far. Most of the 50-plus posts to this blog can be separated into the following strategies for elding without the support of a network of family and friends:
- Maintain your physical health
- Maintain your mental health
- Maintain your security
- Anticipate issues
- Develop habits that support the above strategies
- Develop plans well in advance of need
- Financial
- Operational
- End Game
A few other posts fall into the categories of "Weak Attempts at Snarky Humor to Try to Hold Your Attention," and "Trivia and Miscelanea." Do with them as you wish.
Below is a chart sorting the individual posts. If you are interested in one strategic category, you can find on this chart all the posts that pertain to that subject. Many of the posts touched on more than one category, and of course the snarky humor is pervasive.
( I hope this chart is readable on the final post. If not, I will try to find some way to reformat. And you can send me a reply or email and I will sent you the Excel file from which it was copied)
Below is a chart sorting the individual posts. If you are interested in one strategic category, you can find on this chart all the posts that pertain to that subject. Many of the posts touched on more than one category, and of course the snarky humor is pervasive.
( I hope this chart is readable on the final post. If not, I will try to find some way to reformat. And you can send me a reply or email and I will sent you the Excel file from which it was copied)
| Growing Old Alone | |||||||||||||
| Navigating Retirement and Aging Without the Support of Family | |||||||||||||
| Summary by Strategic Category | |||||||||||||
| Post | Post # | Date | Maintain Physical Health | Maintain Mental Health | Maintain Security | Anticipate Issues | Develop Habits | Develop Plans - Financial | Develop Plans - Operational | Develop Plans - End Game | Snarky Humor | Trivia and Miscelanea | |
| Growing Old - The Concept | 1 | 1/30/12 | N/A | ||||||||||
| Long Term Care | 2 | 2/4/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Done Got Old | 3 | 2/7/12 | X | ||||||||||
| A short description of Long Term Care Insurance | 4 | 2/9/12 | X | ||||||||||
| If you don't have a plan for where you are going… | 5 | 2/16/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| A few short thoughts | 6 | 2/23/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Continuing Care Retirement Communities | 7 | 3/3/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Getting Scammed | 8 | 3/4/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Update on LTC Insurance | 9 | 3/8/12 | X | ||||||||||
| The Cruise Ship as Retirement Home | 10 | 3/10/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Memory and Habits | 11 | 3/28/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| "I don't want to get old" | 12 | 3/29/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Independent Living | 13 | 4/4/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Retirement Home Hint | 14 | 4/8/12 | X | ||||||||||
| A philosophical digression about the bearing of children | 15 | 4/9/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Long Term Care Cost Update | 16 | 5/1/12 | X | ||||||||||
| A few words on fitness for the kid-less | 17 | 5/2/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Long Term Care Insruance - is it worth buying? | 18 | 5/14/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Sorry… | 19 | 6/3/12 | N/A | ||||||||||
| Habits, personality and elder abuse | 20 | 6/11/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Not more on Habits? | 21 | 6/27/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Attitudes (Gratitude in Particular) | 22 | 7/23/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Yummy! | 23 | 7/23/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Two Things You Need to Know | 24 | 7/26/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Rainy Day Money | 25 | 8/28/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Sex in the nursing home | 26 | 8/28/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Morningstar report | 27 | 8/30/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Morningstar - 40 must know statistics | 28 | 8/30/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Morningstar: do you have a viable plan for long term care | 29 | 8/30/12 | X | ||||||||||
| A Pasticcio | 30 | 10/3/12 | X | ||||||||||
| A Matter of Context | 31 | 10/9/12 | X | ||||||||||
| The Keys, Please | 32 | 10/15/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Guess we're not the only ones thinking about this | 33 | 10/18/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Reverse mortgages | 34 | 10/18/12 | X | ||||||||||
| This has nothing to do with aging along, but | 35 | 10/19/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Care by consensus | 36 | 10/22/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Exercise might beat puzzles for protecting the aging brain | 37 | 10/24/12 | X | ||||||||||
| A reflection on meditation | 38 | 12/16/12 | X | ||||||||||
| Downsizing | 39 | 12/18/12 | X | X | |||||||||
| Helpful publications | 40 | 12/27/12 | X | ||||||||||
| More on meditation from TED talks | 41 | 1/16/13 | X | ||||||||||
| It is really about self reliance | 42 | 1/29/13 | X | ||||||||||
| A sensitive subject | 43 | 2/25/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Involvement keeps the mind sharp | 44 | 2/25/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Confusion. Happens when you eld. | 45 | 2/27/13 | N/A | ||||||||||
| The Keys Please II | 46 | 3/13/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Some Statistics | 47 | 3/15/13 | X | ||||||||||
| An Example of why the habit of skepticism is so important | 48 | 3/15/13 | X | X | |||||||||
| Co-Housing - Shy didn't I think of that? | 49 | 3/25/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Special Needs Emergency Registry | 50 | 4/8/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Update/Reminder on Long Term Care Insurance | 51 | 5/8/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Some Odd Thoughts on Medicaid and Procreation. | 52 | 5/8/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Look Before You Leap - Or Move. | 53 | 5/13/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Invest in Social Connections | 54 | 5/23/13 | X | ||||||||||
| End-Of-Life Planning | 55 | 5/30/13 | X | ||||||||||
| A Technique for Aging Women to Remain Vital | 56 | 6/3/13 | X | ||||||||||
| Time Bandits | 57 | 7/21/13 | X | ||||||||||
| We Are Not Alone | 58 | 9/1/13 | X | ||||||||||
We Are Not Alone
A recent AARP study ("The Aging of the Baby Boom and the Growing Care Gap", http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-08-2013/the-aging-of-the-baby-boom-and-the-growing-care-gap-AARP-ppi-ltc.html) indicates a steep decline in the number of family health care givers per number of those requiring care that is facing the boomer generation. In 2010 there were more than seven potential care givers for every one boomer at age 80 (an age where we are likely to need some help). The study projects that by 2030 that ration will drop to four to one, and by 2050 it will drop further, to less than three to one.
Let me restate that more precisely: from >7:1 to 4:1, then to <3:1. The potential audience for this blog just grew exponentially.
So the discussion we are having here about strategies for becoming elders without the help of youngers may be useful for more than just the population of old people without children.
The reason for this decline may be a statistical anomaly. In the period from 1990 to to 2010 the boomers themselves were in the prime care-giving age group. Thus the ratio actually went up from 6.6 to 7.2. Before the boomer bulge the ration was likely lower. But now, as we eld, we potential care givers are leaving that category and entering the care needer category. Thus the steep decline in the ratio. As we boomers pass from Elders to Fond Memories in the years after 2050, the ration will likely once again change for the better.
But the numbers are a stark reminder that there are a lot of us, and not so many of them to take care of us. This, I would think, applies to paid as well as family care givers. Care availability may become a relatively scarce commodity.
Michael
Let me restate that more precisely: from >7:1 to 4:1, then to <3:1. The potential audience for this blog just grew exponentially.
So the discussion we are having here about strategies for becoming elders without the help of youngers may be useful for more than just the population of old people without children.
The reason for this decline may be a statistical anomaly. In the period from 1990 to to 2010 the boomers themselves were in the prime care-giving age group. Thus the ratio actually went up from 6.6 to 7.2. Before the boomer bulge the ration was likely lower. But now, as we eld, we potential care givers are leaving that category and entering the care needer category. Thus the steep decline in the ratio. As we boomers pass from Elders to Fond Memories in the years after 2050, the ration will likely once again change for the better.
But the numbers are a stark reminder that there are a lot of us, and not so many of them to take care of us. This, I would think, applies to paid as well as family care givers. Care availability may become a relatively scarce commodity.
Michael
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Time Bandits
There are those for whom time weighs heavily, like thick, humid air on a hot day, nothing of interest filling a void of boredom. If you have ever been a child in Kansas, where summers can be so hot and slow, where the tempo of the cicadas' song noticeably extends with each hour spent on the river bank as you seek to capture the catfish that will never bite, then you know what I mean.
For others, time flashes by. In our mid-life years, there is so much to do, so many tasks and chores, that the day is a vortex of activity leaving us exhausted at the end of the day, wondering "What happened? How could I be so busy and get nothing done?"
Then we become old. Then so many aspects of our lives have a tendency to revert to the simpler and more dependent days when we were young. We have less to do. Time accelerates even more as we realize that every day becomes a larger proportion of the time we have left. It has been posed that the reason time seems to accelerate as we get old is that we do not have the anticipation of the future that we had when we were younger.
We can change that perception, or not. We can:
My point is this: As children, there was so much NEW to experience. Life moved slowly because we were always looking forward to something new. Tomorrow lets collect cans and bottles from the ditch and maybe we will find something else amazing. Will Christmas never come? Will I ever be old enough to drive? When I am 18, boy, then, .............. Just WAIT until I am 21. Looking to the future slowed time. This is an immutable but as-yet inadequately documented law of physics (it also changes brain activity patterns). Why would we not want to follow that model?
The old joke is that boredom does not make you live longer, but makes it seem longer. Boredom might make NOW seem to last forever, thus extending life. But waiting for something NEW, some pleasurable and exciting FUTURE, will slow life to crawl. Looking forward - next week, next month, next year - forces NOW and THEN out of our minds. In looking back, an extended series of boring NOW's will seem to have gone in a flash, because there was nothing THEN to remember. But waiting for exciting FUTURES's, with all the attendant anticipation, will take forever, because there is always something THERE that is not yet NOW. And looking back at past FUTURE's will be so full of activity and interest, that it will seem like we are still THERE.
I have often said that I enjoy what I do for a living, and that if I ever retire, why would I want to stop doing something I like, in order to do nothing, which I do not like. My challenge will be to find new things that I enjoy to anticipate. After all, the attributes of work that I enjoy are action, learning, thinking, talking. It is not the WORK that I enjoy, it is LIFE that I enjoy. I can easily find new things to do.
Michael
For others, time flashes by. In our mid-life years, there is so much to do, so many tasks and chores, that the day is a vortex of activity leaving us exhausted at the end of the day, wondering "What happened? How could I be so busy and get nothing done?"
Then we become old. Then so many aspects of our lives have a tendency to revert to the simpler and more dependent days when we were young. We have less to do. Time accelerates even more as we realize that every day becomes a larger proportion of the time we have left. It has been posed that the reason time seems to accelerate as we get old is that we do not have the anticipation of the future that we had when we were younger.
- let go of the hectic pace of our mid-life years and revert to what we thought were those boring days of youth, with nothing substantial to do, no pressing agenda, no drive;
- or we can realize that what we remember as the lazy summer days of childhood were in fact filled with adventure, new experiences, new places to go and things to learn. Before we sat on the river bank for what seemed like hours but were in fact only moments, we had ridden our bikes for two miles, cutting donuts on the sand-covered sidewalk in front of the library as we passed, then wading in Emma Creek to catch some crawdads to use as bait, and then building a small fire to roast the fish we knew we were about to catch, and open the hot can of beer that we found in the ditch across the road from Uncle Henry's farm, but pouring it on the fire when we realized that how hot beer, any beer, at age 10 tastes awful. And all that and more in one gloriously long summer day.
My point is this: As children, there was so much NEW to experience. Life moved slowly because we were always looking forward to something new. Tomorrow lets collect cans and bottles from the ditch and maybe we will find something else amazing. Will Christmas never come? Will I ever be old enough to drive? When I am 18, boy, then, .............. Just WAIT until I am 21. Looking to the future slowed time. This is an immutable but as-yet inadequately documented law of physics (it also changes brain activity patterns). Why would we not want to follow that model?
The old joke is that boredom does not make you live longer, but makes it seem longer. Boredom might make NOW seem to last forever, thus extending life. But waiting for something NEW, some pleasurable and exciting FUTURE, will slow life to crawl. Looking forward - next week, next month, next year - forces NOW and THEN out of our minds. In looking back, an extended series of boring NOW's will seem to have gone in a flash, because there was nothing THEN to remember. But waiting for exciting FUTURES's, with all the attendant anticipation, will take forever, because there is always something THERE that is not yet NOW. And looking back at past FUTURE's will be so full of activity and interest, that it will seem like we are still THERE.
I have often said that I enjoy what I do for a living, and that if I ever retire, why would I want to stop doing something I like, in order to do nothing, which I do not like. My challenge will be to find new things that I enjoy to anticipate. After all, the attributes of work that I enjoy are action, learning, thinking, talking. It is not the WORK that I enjoy, it is LIFE that I enjoy. I can easily find new things to do.
Michael
Monday, June 3, 2013
A technique for aging women to remain vital
The other night I was talking with a friend who has done extensive research on a specific technique to assist older single women in remaining physically active and mentally alert into their elder years. Variations on this technique may well also have positive results for men, but since the friend is a woman she has not extended her study to men. The technique is based on admittedly unscientific research practices, but the results have been so stunning as to warrant further study with control groups.
It is well established that living in a group setting in close contact with friends or people with similar interests keeps older people active and engaged in life (see several previous posts on this blog). It is also well established that exercise is a key component of a program to maintain mental alertness. And staying mentally alert is the single most important factor affecting one's well being and physical health as one ages.
Co-housing is of particular interest to this author, having promoted this concept for a number of years with close friends (See "Invest in Social Connections", May 23, 2013). There was also a recent piece on NPR about group housing for older single women (same post as above). Perhaps a variation on this concept is the ideal test bed for my friend's technique. Lets hope that someone picks this up as a research project.
The technique is this:
It is well established that living in a group setting in close contact with friends or people with similar interests keeps older people active and engaged in life (see several previous posts on this blog). It is also well established that exercise is a key component of a program to maintain mental alertness. And staying mentally alert is the single most important factor affecting one's well being and physical health as one ages.
Co-housing is of particular interest to this author, having promoted this concept for a number of years with close friends (See "Invest in Social Connections", May 23, 2013). There was also a recent piece on NPR about group housing for older single women (same post as above). Perhaps a variation on this concept is the ideal test bed for my friend's technique. Lets hope that someone picks this up as a research project.
The technique is this:
- Several compatible older women live in a group house. An older Victorian with a garden in a pleasant setting.
- Staying physically fit is important, so the house includes an exercise room, a pool, and a good kitchen (cooking is a good social as well as physical activity).
- Since single women living together are not usually knowledgeable in maintaining facilities, outside resources are brought in to keep things working properly.
- A good handy man is essential to keep the building pleasant and attractive.
- A good gardener to augment the efforts of the ladies and do the more physical work on the grounds.
- A good pool maintenance man to keep the water clear and appealing.
- Someone who, in California, for instance, would be called a pool boy.
- A good pool boy.
- A good HOT pool boy!
So that is the key component: A HOT pool boy. Good cardio stimulation. Happy mental state. Social interaction. A perfect catalyst for a healthy life style for older single women in a group setting. What could be better.
Well, being a man, I can think of one or two variations that might be better.
Michael
Thursday, May 30, 2013
End-of-Life Planning
Is it really possible to step out of our lives for a moment and objectively assess our selves, our resources, and plan for the end? Having long been involved in stepping away from the heat of transaction negotiations and developing objective business plans, I suspect I find this a little easier than most. But still, this is an emotional subject. Can anyone really answer, objectively, such loaded questions as:
Here is a thoughtful TED Talk about that last question. Judy MacDonald Johnson offers five practices for planning the end.
Here is the link to the talk. It is short, but meaningful for those of us who do not have a large community of family to rely on for care.
http://www.ted.com/talks/judy_macdonald_johnston_prepare_for_a_good_end_of_life.html
Michael
- Do I really want someone to pull the plug?
- Do I want to have the option of pulling the plug myself?
- Am I prepared to have things happen to me that are outside of my control?
- Is what I want now what I will still want when faced with reality?
- How can I have done what I want done when I have lost control?
Here is a thoughtful TED Talk about that last question. Judy MacDonald Johnson offers five practices for planning the end.
- Make a plan. "Saying we would like to die at home is not a plan." "'Just shoot me' is not a plan, it is illegal."
- Recruit advocates. You will need help. Your physician, your neighbor, your accountant. Don't count on friends and family alone.
- Be hospital ready. Put all the relevant information and documents in a brightly colored envelope and tape it to your fridge. Give your advocates a copy.
- Choose caregivers. Consider personality, resources, needs.
- Discuss last words. What will you need to hear to be ready to let go.
Here is the link to the talk. It is short, but meaningful for those of us who do not have a large community of family to rely on for care.
http://www.ted.com/talks/judy_macdonald_johnston_prepare_for_a_good_end_of_life.html
Michael
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Invest in Social Connections
A retirement or nursing home is really just a form of communal housing, but with strangers. People live longer and maintain their health longer when they have strong social connections - friends. As we have posted before, there are several ways to structure communal or co-housing in order to keep your own lifestyle but still live with friends and support eachother.
Here is another piece on this subject, from NPR, oriented towards older single women. This should apply to men as well (I suspect men are shy about living with other men in a communal setting thinking that they will be perceived as gay). I DO feel vindicated, as I have been talking about this with my best friends for over 20 years now. I'm so smart!
My concept is more of a co-housing arrangement, where each family unit (couple or single) has their own space, but common space is available for cooking, eating, cellering wine, humidoring cigars, whatever, with rooms for visiting grandchildren, godchildren, grand-godchildren, etc, and for a live-in caregiver when necessary. Not quite so intense as living in a single house.
Anyway, here is the link to the NPR program. I have also copied the transcript below, for posterity.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/05/22/183903991/Boomer-Housemates-Have-More-Fun
Transcript (there are some typos):
May 22, 2013 3:00 AM
Copyright ©2013 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.
DAVID GREENE, HOST:
Americans are living longer than ever before, and as seniors approach their golden years, most are cared for primarily by an immediate family member, a spouse or their children. Having children, in some ways, is a sort-of long-term insurance policy.
LINDA WERTHEIMER, HOST:
But as life expectancy continues to rise, more and more women are living and aging without spouses or children, and are likely to face an interesting situation: Who will care for them when the time comes?
GREENE: As part of our series on the Changing Lives of Women, NPR's Julie Rovner looks at the long-term care conundrum.
BONNIE MOORE: Welcome to our house. I'm Bonnie. Come on in.
JULIE ROVNER, BYLINE: Bonnie Moore is a pert, 60-something lawyer and accountable who lives in well-kept, five-bedroom house in a cozy suburb about a half-hour outside Washington, D.C. You can tell she's used to giving the grand tour.
MOORE: I'll show you my pride and joy - my kitchen. We bought an old house, and we've been remodeling it.
ROVNER: Lorene Solivan is one of her three housemates.
LORENE SOLIVAN: And I'm the youngest.
MOORE: She's the youngest, yeah. How do you like that?
ROVNER: She just turned 60. Lorene had been living on her own in an apartment in Northern Virginia, but she wanted to downsize.
SOLIVAN: And I saw the ad on Craigslist: Golden Girls House. I said oh, that sounds like fun.
ROVNER: Which is just what Bonnie had in mind when she started her little enterprise.
MOORE: It's a little bit like family, a little bit like roommates, a little bit like a sorority house. It just evolves.
ROVNER: The four roommates share expenses, some cooking, and they even throw parties together sometimes. They also look out for each other's medical needs. Bonnie said it was a huge help when she was hospitalized recently for her diabetes.
MOORE: When I was in the hospital, they were bringing me the stuff that I needed, and this and that.
ROVNER: The whole idea started after her divorce. Bonnie needed financial help to stay in the house where she'd put down roots, including out in her beloved garden. She has a grown son in Utah. He offered to build her a house out there, but she was adamant about staying in Maryland.
MOORE: He's just sort of saying, well, Mom, you're old now. We have to take care of you. And I'm saying, I'm not old. I've got 20 more years out there in my yard, thank you very much.
ROVNER: Now, Bonnie's got big plans to grow things other than plants and flowers. She's working on a guide to help other single boomer women set up group houses like hers.
MOORE: I think it'll be fun. And I'd like to be part of various seminars and workshops for women - you know, the whole idea of living communally and learning to get along in this kind of environment.
ROVNER: Which would be a good thing because even experts in aging are scratching their heads about what's going to happen to the huge generation of increasingly single childless women as they age. Sarah Rix, of the AARP Public Policy Institute, studies the economic prospects of women in the workforce. She's also a single boomer herself.
SARAH RIX: I think that's one of the scariest questions because I fall into that category. And I say oh, I've got wonderful nieces and nephews. Well, in fact, they've got their families. They've got their in-laws. They've got their parents, and I don't think it's reasonable to expect much out of them.
ROVNER: Across the country, in San Francisco, Kathleen Kelly says she's seeing the same sort of concern in her social circle.
KATHLEEN KELLY: I'm in my 50s, and my friends are all talking about, could we all move in together? Could we buy an apartment building, and all live together? There's all sorts of permutations on this conversation.
ROVNER: Kelly's executive director of the National Center on Caregiving. The numbers are, in a word, daunting.
KELLY: About a third of baby boomers are single, but we also know that there is a large percentage of those that are in their 50s and 60s that are getting divorced. And so we're going to have more single individuals, in the future. We just haven't seen this before.
ROVNER: And many boomers have had fewer or no children, compared to previous generations. There were nearly twice as many American women without children in 2008 as there were in 1976, according to a White House report on women.
KELLY: So there's less adult children to take the place of the caregiving cohort that currently is providing caregiving to their parents.
ROVNER: Family caregiving that currently provides an estimated $450 billion a year worth of care - meaning that the mostly women boomers now caring for their parents may be unprepared for their own future. Sarah Rix, of AARP, says a big problem for single boomer women is that they may lack the financial ability to hire the caregivers they might need if they don't have family members to provide it.
RIX: They are still likely to be concentrated in what we've traditionally called the pink-collar jobs: the lower-wage, low-benefit occupations. And so when they reach old age, they often reach old age without pension coverage.
ROVNER: They will, or at least should, have Social Security, she says. But for many older women, that will be all - or nearly all - they have to live on.
RIX: And it's not going to pay for a lot of care, formal care. So it's a frightening future.
ROVNER: But there are things women can do, says Kathleen Kelly of the National Center on Caregiving. Some of them are pretty obvious, like maintaining a healthy, active lifestyle. But another piece of her advice may not be so intuitive.
KELLY: And that is to invest in social relationships and networks - not the kind that are on the Internet, necessarily, but the kind that you build a community of individuals that may - you may be able to share tasks and responsibilities as you grow older.
ROVNER: Which brings us back to Bonnie Moore, of the Golden Girls house in Maryland. She says having people around was a financial necessity, but it's become a lot more than that.
MOORE: It's just the nature of women, you know. And to come home and have someone say, hi, how was your day? That's really nice sometimes.
ROVNER: Roommate Lorene Solivan agrees.
SOLIVAN: To have your own social group your own age, whether you're 20, 40, 60 - whatever the case may be - is a big plus, I think.
ROVNER: So if you're a boomer and you liked that group house you lived in, in college or just after? Good for you because the U.S. is one of the few developed nations that has no organized public policy for providing long-term care. So group living may be something in your future as well as your past.
Julie Rovner, NPR News, Washington.
WERTHEIMER: And there's more from our Changing Lives of Women series online, where we're asking NPR women about their careers and inviting you to join the conversation. Long-time congressional correspondent Cokie Roberts weighed in on how she found support in the workplace.
GREENE: She says her female friends always rallied behind her, and she had the advantage of having them right here with her at NPR.
COKIE ROBERTS, BYLINE: Let's start with the fact that Linda Wertheimer and Nina Totenberg lobbied -that's the polite term - the powers that were to get me hired in the first place. Later, when the three of us had desks together two NPR homes ago, one of our male colleagues dubbed our corner "The Fallopian Jungle." He is long gone. We are not.
GREENE: Linda, I'm speechless. The fallopian jungle - someone actually said that?
WERTHEIMER: A little bit of "Mad Men" at old-time NPR. But things have changed a lot since then, of course. You would never say anything like that, David.
GREENE: I would never say that, Linda. You can be assured. Well, you can read Cokie Roberts' full essay at our website, npr.org.
Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.
NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.
Michael
Here is another piece on this subject, from NPR, oriented towards older single women. This should apply to men as well (I suspect men are shy about living with other men in a communal setting thinking that they will be perceived as gay). I DO feel vindicated, as I have been talking about this with my best friends for over 20 years now. I'm so smart!
My concept is more of a co-housing arrangement, where each family unit (couple or single) has their own space, but common space is available for cooking, eating, cellering wine, humidoring cigars, whatever, with rooms for visiting grandchildren, godchildren, grand-godchildren, etc, and for a live-in caregiver when necessary. Not quite so intense as living in a single house.
Anyway, here is the link to the NPR program. I have also copied the transcript below, for posterity.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/05/22/183903991/Boomer-Housemates-Have-More-Fun
Transcript (there are some typos):
May 22, 2013 3:00 AM
Copyright ©2013 NPR. For personal, noncommercial use only. See Terms of Use. For other uses, prior permission required.
DAVID GREENE, HOST:
Americans are living longer than ever before, and as seniors approach their golden years, most are cared for primarily by an immediate family member, a spouse or their children. Having children, in some ways, is a sort-of long-term insurance policy.
LINDA WERTHEIMER, HOST:
But as life expectancy continues to rise, more and more women are living and aging without spouses or children, and are likely to face an interesting situation: Who will care for them when the time comes?
GREENE: As part of our series on the Changing Lives of Women, NPR's Julie Rovner looks at the long-term care conundrum.
BONNIE MOORE: Welcome to our house. I'm Bonnie. Come on in.
JULIE ROVNER, BYLINE: Bonnie Moore is a pert, 60-something lawyer and accountable who lives in well-kept, five-bedroom house in a cozy suburb about a half-hour outside Washington, D.C. You can tell she's used to giving the grand tour.
MOORE: I'll show you my pride and joy - my kitchen. We bought an old house, and we've been remodeling it.
ROVNER: Lorene Solivan is one of her three housemates.
LORENE SOLIVAN: And I'm the youngest.
MOORE: She's the youngest, yeah. How do you like that?
ROVNER: She just turned 60. Lorene had been living on her own in an apartment in Northern Virginia, but she wanted to downsize.
SOLIVAN: And I saw the ad on Craigslist: Golden Girls House. I said oh, that sounds like fun.
ROVNER: Which is just what Bonnie had in mind when she started her little enterprise.
MOORE: It's a little bit like family, a little bit like roommates, a little bit like a sorority house. It just evolves.
ROVNER: The four roommates share expenses, some cooking, and they even throw parties together sometimes. They also look out for each other's medical needs. Bonnie said it was a huge help when she was hospitalized recently for her diabetes.
MOORE: When I was in the hospital, they were bringing me the stuff that I needed, and this and that.
ROVNER: The whole idea started after her divorce. Bonnie needed financial help to stay in the house where she'd put down roots, including out in her beloved garden. She has a grown son in Utah. He offered to build her a house out there, but she was adamant about staying in Maryland.
MOORE: He's just sort of saying, well, Mom, you're old now. We have to take care of you. And I'm saying, I'm not old. I've got 20 more years out there in my yard, thank you very much.
ROVNER: Now, Bonnie's got big plans to grow things other than plants and flowers. She's working on a guide to help other single boomer women set up group houses like hers.
MOORE: I think it'll be fun. And I'd like to be part of various seminars and workshops for women - you know, the whole idea of living communally and learning to get along in this kind of environment.
ROVNER: Which would be a good thing because even experts in aging are scratching their heads about what's going to happen to the huge generation of increasingly single childless women as they age. Sarah Rix, of the AARP Public Policy Institute, studies the economic prospects of women in the workforce. She's also a single boomer herself.
SARAH RIX: I think that's one of the scariest questions because I fall into that category. And I say oh, I've got wonderful nieces and nephews. Well, in fact, they've got their families. They've got their in-laws. They've got their parents, and I don't think it's reasonable to expect much out of them.
ROVNER: Across the country, in San Francisco, Kathleen Kelly says she's seeing the same sort of concern in her social circle.
KATHLEEN KELLY: I'm in my 50s, and my friends are all talking about, could we all move in together? Could we buy an apartment building, and all live together? There's all sorts of permutations on this conversation.
ROVNER: Kelly's executive director of the National Center on Caregiving. The numbers are, in a word, daunting.
KELLY: About a third of baby boomers are single, but we also know that there is a large percentage of those that are in their 50s and 60s that are getting divorced. And so we're going to have more single individuals, in the future. We just haven't seen this before.
ROVNER: And many boomers have had fewer or no children, compared to previous generations. There were nearly twice as many American women without children in 2008 as there were in 1976, according to a White House report on women.
KELLY: So there's less adult children to take the place of the caregiving cohort that currently is providing caregiving to their parents.
ROVNER: Family caregiving that currently provides an estimated $450 billion a year worth of care - meaning that the mostly women boomers now caring for their parents may be unprepared for their own future. Sarah Rix, of AARP, says a big problem for single boomer women is that they may lack the financial ability to hire the caregivers they might need if they don't have family members to provide it.
RIX: They are still likely to be concentrated in what we've traditionally called the pink-collar jobs: the lower-wage, low-benefit occupations. And so when they reach old age, they often reach old age without pension coverage.
ROVNER: They will, or at least should, have Social Security, she says. But for many older women, that will be all - or nearly all - they have to live on.
RIX: And it's not going to pay for a lot of care, formal care. So it's a frightening future.
ROVNER: But there are things women can do, says Kathleen Kelly of the National Center on Caregiving. Some of them are pretty obvious, like maintaining a healthy, active lifestyle. But another piece of her advice may not be so intuitive.
KELLY: And that is to invest in social relationships and networks - not the kind that are on the Internet, necessarily, but the kind that you build a community of individuals that may - you may be able to share tasks and responsibilities as you grow older.
ROVNER: Which brings us back to Bonnie Moore, of the Golden Girls house in Maryland. She says having people around was a financial necessity, but it's become a lot more than that.
MOORE: It's just the nature of women, you know. And to come home and have someone say, hi, how was your day? That's really nice sometimes.
ROVNER: Roommate Lorene Solivan agrees.
SOLIVAN: To have your own social group your own age, whether you're 20, 40, 60 - whatever the case may be - is a big plus, I think.
ROVNER: So if you're a boomer and you liked that group house you lived in, in college or just after? Good for you because the U.S. is one of the few developed nations that has no organized public policy for providing long-term care. So group living may be something in your future as well as your past.
Julie Rovner, NPR News, Washington.
WERTHEIMER: And there's more from our Changing Lives of Women series online, where we're asking NPR women about their careers and inviting you to join the conversation. Long-time congressional correspondent Cokie Roberts weighed in on how she found support in the workplace.
GREENE: She says her female friends always rallied behind her, and she had the advantage of having them right here with her at NPR.
COKIE ROBERTS, BYLINE: Let's start with the fact that Linda Wertheimer and Nina Totenberg lobbied -that's the polite term - the powers that were to get me hired in the first place. Later, when the three of us had desks together two NPR homes ago, one of our male colleagues dubbed our corner "The Fallopian Jungle." He is long gone. We are not.
GREENE: Linda, I'm speechless. The fallopian jungle - someone actually said that?
WERTHEIMER: A little bit of "Mad Men" at old-time NPR. But things have changed a lot since then, of course. You would never say anything like that, David.
GREENE: I would never say that, Linda. You can be assured. Well, you can read Cokie Roberts' full essay at our website, npr.org.
Copyright © 2013 NPR. All rights reserved. No quotes from the materials contained herein may be used in any media without attribution to NPR. This transcript is provided for personal, noncommercial use only, pursuant to our Terms of Use. Any other use requires NPR's prior permission. Visit our permissions page for further information.
NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by a contractor for NPR, and accuracy and availability may vary. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Please be aware that the authoritative record of NPR's programming is the audio.
Michael
Monday, May 13, 2013
Look before you leap - or move.
Here is a piece on recently released health care cost data regarding hospital billing rates for various procedures. It is a long slog of an article, but slide to the bottom and you will see an interactive tool to see comparisons by state (you select the state) to the national high, low and average costs. While this pertains to what the hospital will bill Medicare for these procedures, it might be an indicator of relative costs for other healthcare services. This is one more tool in selecting where you wish to eld, or at least being informed about the cost of elding in your chosen region.
Michael
One hospital charges $8,000 — another, $38,000
By: Sarah Kliff
Consumers on Wednesday will finally get some answers about one of modern life's most persistent mysteries: how much medical care actually costs. For the first time, the federal government will release the prices that hospitals charge for the 100 most … Continue reading
Michael
One hospital charges $8,000 — another, $38,000
By: Sarah Kliff
Consumers on Wednesday will finally get some answers about one of modern life's most persistent mysteries: how much medical care actually costs. For the first time, the federal government will release the prices that hospitals charge for the 100 most … Continue reading
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Some Odd Thoughts on Medicaid and Procreation.
I suspect that if you are following this blog you are, if not financially secure, at least financially literate. But unforeseen medical issues can devastate the most cautious saver. The prospect of being destitute and in need can be terrifying.
But lets do a what-if and think about this for a moment. Lets say we come down with that debilitating desease that is going to cost a fortune, OUR fortune, and at the end of the day we will spend the rest of our days in a nursing home with no prospect of paying for it. Thanks to the administration of Lyndon Johnson, there is a safety net that will not have us shivering under an overpass waiting for our kidneys to fail and the coyotes to carry our bones to their pups. It is called Medicaid. Just because you have some money now does not guarantee you will not need it some day. Thank you, Lyndon, for this and so many other things.
Variations on this theme: There are two of you, in a legally recognized marriage. And, there is just one of you. If there are two of you, in a legally recognized marriage, then the one not consuming assets for medical expenses is allowed to keep some assets, but not much - a house and a few dollars of financial assets. Lots of complicated restrictions apply. There are claw-back rules, so you can't just give away your assets to a caregiver and then collect medicaid. The caregiver (family members, maybe) will have to give the money back. Just doing the paperwork for applying for Medicaid is, I understand, "complicated". And if you are not in a legally recognized marriage, then, well, what does that mean?
Bye the way, I have found a number of references to the subject of not just growing old alone without children, but growing old alone, period. My perspective has always been as one who is a member of a stable couple who made a conscious decision to not have children very early in our relationship.
Listening to some of the Supreme Court arguments lately about the right to gay marriage, you might think that there are those who think WE have no moral claim on marriage, since we have shunned the prime rationale for ANY marriage - procreation. But that is another topic. This blog should be relevant to gay couples without children as well.
But lets do a what-if and think about this for a moment. Lets say we come down with that debilitating desease that is going to cost a fortune, OUR fortune, and at the end of the day we will spend the rest of our days in a nursing home with no prospect of paying for it. Thanks to the administration of Lyndon Johnson, there is a safety net that will not have us shivering under an overpass waiting for our kidneys to fail and the coyotes to carry our bones to their pups. It is called Medicaid. Just because you have some money now does not guarantee you will not need it some day. Thank you, Lyndon, for this and so many other things.
Variations on this theme: There are two of you, in a legally recognized marriage. And, there is just one of you. If there are two of you, in a legally recognized marriage, then the one not consuming assets for medical expenses is allowed to keep some assets, but not much - a house and a few dollars of financial assets. Lots of complicated restrictions apply. There are claw-back rules, so you can't just give away your assets to a caregiver and then collect medicaid. The caregiver (family members, maybe) will have to give the money back. Just doing the paperwork for applying for Medicaid is, I understand, "complicated". And if you are not in a legally recognized marriage, then, well, what does that mean?
Bye the way, I have found a number of references to the subject of not just growing old alone without children, but growing old alone, period. My perspective has always been as one who is a member of a stable couple who made a conscious decision to not have children very early in our relationship.
Listening to some of the Supreme Court arguments lately about the right to gay marriage, you might think that there are those who think WE have no moral claim on marriage, since we have shunned the prime rationale for ANY marriage - procreation. But that is another topic. This blog should be relevant to gay couples without children as well.
Update/Reminder on Long Term Care Insurance Features
Note number 6 below - this is something I believe we have not discussed before. I am going to check our policies now to see if this is relevant. I think we would have noticed if an exclusion was included, but best to check to make sure.
If you're interested in long-term-care insurance, you should look into the coverage before you need it -- perhaps when you are in your 40s, 50s or early 60s. If you wait too long the premium costs will be un-economical. Choose a highly rated insurance company. Shop around and review the policies for the following features:
If you're interested in long-term-care insurance, you should look into the coverage before you need it -- perhaps when you are in your 40s, 50s or early 60s. If you wait too long the premium costs will be un-economical. Choose a highly rated insurance company. Shop around and review the policies for the following features:
- The benefit amount should be adequate. Most policies pay a specified amount per day, so you will have to pay the difference.
- Benefits should increase with inflation. You may not receive benefits for many years, so it's important to make sure that the amount increases with inflation.
- Covered services should include skilled care, intermediate care, custodial care, home health care, and adult day care.
- There should not be a requirement that you must first be hospitalized to receive benefits. There should also be no requirement that you must first receive skilled nursing home care to receive intermediate or custodial care, or that you must first receive nursing home care to receive home care.
- Benefits should be payable when you can't perform two or three activities of daily living such as bathing, dressing, eating, walking, transferring from a bed to a chair, using the bathroom, or remaining continent. Another condition that should qualify is cognitive impairment.
- Specific coverage should exist for Alzheimer's disease and other organic-based mental illness. Some policies exclude these conditions.
- The policy should be guaranteed renewable, meaning the policy can't be canceled due to age or deterioration in health.
- Select a reasonable waiting period and a benefit period you are comfortable with. The longer you wait before benefits begin, the lower your premiums.
Michael
Monday, April 8, 2013
Special Needs Emergency Registry
Here is a handy little tool for Elders with Needs. This is great for us Child Free elders, whose non-children may be of non-help in an emergency.
Rhode Island has a state Special Needs Emergency Registry for people with disabilities. Other states and communities may also have these, so check them out in any area where you intend to eld in place. You sign up for the registry, and this puts first responders on notice of any special needs you might have, especially equipement that requires electricity such as respirators, dialysis machines, etc.
You can enroll in the Rhode Island Special Needs Emergency Registry online. If you are unable to complete the online form, a paper form is available. This may be inconvenient if you live in Phoenix.
Where we live, it is not uncommon to have power outages durring both winter and summer storms. This past winter was particularly enlightening. We own a small generator for hurricane preparedness, and have a plan for dealing with those kinds of summer storms. But this winter caught us unprepared. While the generator is fine for powering our refrigerator, we had no way to power our gas furnace when Winter Storm Nemo rolled into town and knocked out power to the entire island. It started me thinking: if I were aged and needy, and not able to operate the generator, how would I:
So, the registry sounds like a good idea. In theory. But I have some questions.
Scenario 1: Winter Storm Zydeco leaves 24 inches of snow in the street and knocks out the power. I am lying in my (soiled) bed, my oxygen machine has stopped working, my phone is out (keep one of those old fashioned corded phones handy to plug into the socket - that power NEVER seems to go out - How do they DO that?) and my cat has frozen to death. Will anyone look at the Special Needs Emergency Registry and think: "The power is out, and we know that this coot needs oxygen. Maybe someone should check on him."?
Scenario 2: That skillet that I left on the burning stove after dinner last night has burst into flames (I eat lots of greasy foods), the flames spreading to the dried out flowers on the counter I have been meaning to throw out but just can't bear to part with because they were sent by our God Daughter after their last visit, which in turn set the cat on fire, which in turn set the rest of the house on fire, etc. etc. etc. Does the fire crew know that there is an oxygen canister next to my (soiled) bed, having flagged my address as one included on the Special Needs Emergency Registry? And when they pull me from the now-toasty house and see that I am no longer sentient, will they know that I have a Do Not Resuscitate Medical Directive in an envelop labeled "open me first" in my night stand?
There are a number of commercial services that can check up on you as well. My mother-in-law has one tied to her phone line, and through speakers and microphones they can actually talk to her to make sure she is OK. More on that later.
I have a call into the RI Department of Health, who administers the Registry, to find answers to these and other questions. When I get a response I will post a comment to this blog entry with the answers. Expect to hear from me in about 18 months. In the mean time, stay away from winter storms.
Michael
Rhode Island has a state Special Needs Emergency Registry for people with disabilities. Other states and communities may also have these, so check them out in any area where you intend to eld in place. You sign up for the registry, and this puts first responders on notice of any special needs you might have, especially equipement that requires electricity such as respirators, dialysis machines, etc.
You can enroll in the Rhode Island Special Needs Emergency Registry online. If you are unable to complete the online form, a paper form is available. This may be inconvenient if you live in Phoenix.
Where we live, it is not uncommon to have power outages durring both winter and summer storms. This past winter was particularly enlightening. We own a small generator for hurricane preparedness, and have a plan for dealing with those kinds of summer storms. But this winter caught us unprepared. While the generator is fine for powering our refrigerator, we had no way to power our gas furnace when Winter Storm Nemo rolled into town and knocked out power to the entire island. It started me thinking: if I were aged and needy, and not able to operate the generator, how would I:
- Keep my medicines cool in the fridge?
- Preserve a little food for that nasty habit (remember habits?) I have of eating?
- Generate a little heat without resorting to stuffing our sleeping quarters with Bed Cats (of which we only have one in stock).
So, the registry sounds like a good idea. In theory. But I have some questions.
Scenario 1: Winter Storm Zydeco leaves 24 inches of snow in the street and knocks out the power. I am lying in my (soiled) bed, my oxygen machine has stopped working, my phone is out (keep one of those old fashioned corded phones handy to plug into the socket - that power NEVER seems to go out - How do they DO that?) and my cat has frozen to death. Will anyone look at the Special Needs Emergency Registry and think: "The power is out, and we know that this coot needs oxygen. Maybe someone should check on him."?
Scenario 2: That skillet that I left on the burning stove after dinner last night has burst into flames (I eat lots of greasy foods), the flames spreading to the dried out flowers on the counter I have been meaning to throw out but just can't bear to part with because they were sent by our God Daughter after their last visit, which in turn set the cat on fire, which in turn set the rest of the house on fire, etc. etc. etc. Does the fire crew know that there is an oxygen canister next to my (soiled) bed, having flagged my address as one included on the Special Needs Emergency Registry? And when they pull me from the now-toasty house and see that I am no longer sentient, will they know that I have a Do Not Resuscitate Medical Directive in an envelop labeled "open me first" in my night stand?
There are a number of commercial services that can check up on you as well. My mother-in-law has one tied to her phone line, and through speakers and microphones they can actually talk to her to make sure she is OK. More on that later.
I have a call into the RI Department of Health, who administers the Registry, to find answers to these and other questions. When I get a response I will post a comment to this blog entry with the answers. Expect to hear from me in about 18 months. In the mean time, stay away from winter storms.
Michael
Monday, March 25, 2013
Co-Housing - Why didn't I think of that?
Actually, I did think of that, or at least one variation of the concept.
Cohousing (in spite of my spell checker, there is no hyphen) is a concept that took root in Denmark quite some time ago, and has only more recently become popular in the US. Cohousing is a type of collaborative housing in which residents actively participate in the design and operation of their own neighborhoods. These neighborhoods can be in rural Kansas, an old New England mill building, or in the middle of a borough of NYC. They can be new construction or re-construction of existing properties. They can be family oriented (ie kids, playgrounds, schooling) or adult oriented ("Help, Lewie, I've fallen and I can't find my scotch!") There are over 125 such communities in the US. Actually, there are probably more, but they just don't identify with the name or enter into the statistics.
There are six defining characteristics of cohousing, per the Cohousing Association of the United States (www.cohousing.org). They are:
1. Participatory process. Future residents participate in the design of the community so that it meets their needs. Some cohousing communities are initiated or driven by a developer. In those cases, if the developer brings the future resident group into the process late in the planning, the residents will have less input into the design. A well-designed, pedestrian-oriented community without significant resident participation in the planning may be “cohousing-inspired,” but it is not a cohousing community.
2. Neighborhood design. The physical layout and orientation of the buildings (the site plan) encourage a sense of community. For example, the private residences are clustered on the site, leaving more shared open space. The dwellings typically face each other across a pedestrian street or courtyard, with cars parked on the periphery. Often, the front doorway of every home affords a view of the common house. What far outweighs any specifics, however, is the intention to create a strong sense of community, with design as one of the facilitators.
3. Common facilities. Common facilities are designed for daily use, are an integral part of the community, and are always supplemental to the private residences. The common house typically includes a common kitchen, dining area, sitting area, children's playroom and laundry, and also may contain a workshop, library, exercise room, crafts room and/or one or two guest rooms. Except on very tight urban sites, cohousing communities often have playground equipment, lawns and gardens as well. Since the buildings are clustered, larger sites may retain several or many acres of undeveloped shared open space. (And perhaps a dock and nearby moorings for us sailors.)
4. Resident management. Residents manage their own cohousing communities, and also perform much of the work required to maintain the property. They participate in the preparation of common meals, and meet regularly to solve problems and develop policies for the community.
5. Non-hierarchical structure and decision-making. Leadership roles naturally exist in cohousing communities, however no one person (or persons) has authority over others. Most groups start with one or two “burning souls.” As people join the group, each person takes on one or more roles consistent with his or her skills, abilities or interests. Most cohousing groups make all of their decisions by consensus, and, although many groups have a policy for voting if the group cannot reach consensus after a number of attempts, it is rarely or never necessary to resort to voting.
6. No shared community economy. The community is not a source of income for its members. Occasionally, a cohousing community will pay one of its residents to do a specific (usually time-limited) task, but more typically the work will be considered that member's contribution to the shared responsibilities.
There are a number of architectural firms and other organizations that can help a group interested in cohousing to pull their facility together, from site selection, to design, to organization, to construction, to "lets move in". There are also brokers that can help you find existing cohousing communities with units for sale (yes, as elders we must anticipate the inevitable turnover).
It sounds a lot like the communes of the 60's and 70's, but for adults. As we know, there are a lot of adults who are getting older and want to remain independent as long as possible. Cohousing can be a means of doing that.
My idea, discussed with friends for a decade or more and described briefly in this blog in April of 2012 ("Independent Living"), was, without my knowing it, a cohousing concept.
Cohousing would not be for everyone. It is tough to come up with a common vision, acceptable financing, personalities (seeing your good friends all the time is not the same as getting together once a year in Charleston to shop, eat and drink), living standards, outside interests, understanding of shared responsibilities. And being pedestrian oriented, there could be less privacy than in traditional housing (as I look out my window at our back yard, I realize that I LIKE our back yard with its hedge that screens out the rest of the world). It's complicated. But for the right group of people, with the right design parameters, it could be, I suspect, very satisfying.
If structured properly, I think this could be a substitute for a Continuing Care Retirement Community, especially if there were a nursing home, rehab or other medical facilities nearby. I have been thinking that a CCRC would likely be part of our aging strategy. But, who knows, maybe some day we will actually pull together the Wooster's Retreat after all.
Who would have thought that I was such a visionary, a "burning soul".
Michael
Cohousing (in spite of my spell checker, there is no hyphen) is a concept that took root in Denmark quite some time ago, and has only more recently become popular in the US. Cohousing is a type of collaborative housing in which residents actively participate in the design and operation of their own neighborhoods. These neighborhoods can be in rural Kansas, an old New England mill building, or in the middle of a borough of NYC. They can be new construction or re-construction of existing properties. They can be family oriented (ie kids, playgrounds, schooling) or adult oriented ("Help, Lewie, I've fallen and I can't find my scotch!") There are over 125 such communities in the US. Actually, there are probably more, but they just don't identify with the name or enter into the statistics.
There are six defining characteristics of cohousing, per the Cohousing Association of the United States (www.cohousing.org). They are:
1. Participatory process. Future residents participate in the design of the community so that it meets their needs. Some cohousing communities are initiated or driven by a developer. In those cases, if the developer brings the future resident group into the process late in the planning, the residents will have less input into the design. A well-designed, pedestrian-oriented community without significant resident participation in the planning may be “cohousing-inspired,” but it is not a cohousing community.
2. Neighborhood design. The physical layout and orientation of the buildings (the site plan) encourage a sense of community. For example, the private residences are clustered on the site, leaving more shared open space. The dwellings typically face each other across a pedestrian street or courtyard, with cars parked on the periphery. Often, the front doorway of every home affords a view of the common house. What far outweighs any specifics, however, is the intention to create a strong sense of community, with design as one of the facilitators.
3. Common facilities. Common facilities are designed for daily use, are an integral part of the community, and are always supplemental to the private residences. The common house typically includes a common kitchen, dining area, sitting area, children's playroom and laundry, and also may contain a workshop, library, exercise room, crafts room and/or one or two guest rooms. Except on very tight urban sites, cohousing communities often have playground equipment, lawns and gardens as well. Since the buildings are clustered, larger sites may retain several or many acres of undeveloped shared open space. (And perhaps a dock and nearby moorings for us sailors.)
4. Resident management. Residents manage their own cohousing communities, and also perform much of the work required to maintain the property. They participate in the preparation of common meals, and meet regularly to solve problems and develop policies for the community.
5. Non-hierarchical structure and decision-making. Leadership roles naturally exist in cohousing communities, however no one person (or persons) has authority over others. Most groups start with one or two “burning souls.” As people join the group, each person takes on one or more roles consistent with his or her skills, abilities or interests. Most cohousing groups make all of their decisions by consensus, and, although many groups have a policy for voting if the group cannot reach consensus after a number of attempts, it is rarely or never necessary to resort to voting.
6. No shared community economy. The community is not a source of income for its members. Occasionally, a cohousing community will pay one of its residents to do a specific (usually time-limited) task, but more typically the work will be considered that member's contribution to the shared responsibilities.
There are a number of architectural firms and other organizations that can help a group interested in cohousing to pull their facility together, from site selection, to design, to organization, to construction, to "lets move in". There are also brokers that can help you find existing cohousing communities with units for sale (yes, as elders we must anticipate the inevitable turnover).
It sounds a lot like the communes of the 60's and 70's, but for adults. As we know, there are a lot of adults who are getting older and want to remain independent as long as possible. Cohousing can be a means of doing that.
My idea, discussed with friends for a decade or more and described briefly in this blog in April of 2012 ("Independent Living"), was, without my knowing it, a cohousing concept.
- Get together with a bunch of really good friends.
- Jointly buy a property with enough room for a common house and individual living units.
- Have room for our stuff like boats and cars.
- Have room for gardens, workshops, studios, to be as self-reliant as we want.
- Watch over each other's stuff and feed each other's pets when someone wants to go on a cruise to the Bahamas or live in Paris for a year.
- Support each other for as long as we can stand each other.
- Have room for visitors in the common house.
- Have room for a live-in caregiver in the common house when that is necessary.
Cohousing would not be for everyone. It is tough to come up with a common vision, acceptable financing, personalities (seeing your good friends all the time is not the same as getting together once a year in Charleston to shop, eat and drink), living standards, outside interests, understanding of shared responsibilities. And being pedestrian oriented, there could be less privacy than in traditional housing (as I look out my window at our back yard, I realize that I LIKE our back yard with its hedge that screens out the rest of the world). It's complicated. But for the right group of people, with the right design parameters, it could be, I suspect, very satisfying.
If structured properly, I think this could be a substitute for a Continuing Care Retirement Community, especially if there were a nursing home, rehab or other medical facilities nearby. I have been thinking that a CCRC would likely be part of our aging strategy. But, who knows, maybe some day we will actually pull together the Wooster's Retreat after all.
Who would have thought that I was such a visionary, a "burning soul".
Michael
Friday, March 15, 2013
An Example of why the habit of skepticism is so important
Received: A sophisticated looking response request card addressed to: Me
HERE IS WHAT THEY SAID:
Content text:
PERSONAL Business Mail
2013 FORM AN99C
Social Security Taxes 2013 Update
Social Security legislation has been passed by Congress which changes your benefits. There are now provisions to hlpe seniors from having to pay more.
Qualified seniors may potentially pay less on thier Social Secutiry Benefits. Reutrn the attached postage paid card to learn:
HERE IS WHAT THEY SAID:
Content text:
PERSONAL Business Mail
2013 FORM AN99C
Social Security Taxes 2013 Update
Social Security legislation has been passed by Congress which changes your benefits. There are now provisions to hlpe seniors from having to pay more.
Qualified seniors may potentially pay less on thier Social Secutiry Benefits. Reutrn the attached postage paid card to learn:
- When should you apply for Social Security?
- What claiming strategies can you use?
- How are your benefits calculated?
- How can you apply for a tax credit?
For a FREE personalized Social Security Timing report, return the atatched card within 5 days or to go to www.freessreport.com to receive your report sooner.
Reply card addressed to:
Consumer Inquiry
PO Box 55o
Fall River, MA 02722-9910
Reply card requirements:
Signature
Spouse's
Date of Birth (for both)
Phone Number (NEEDED FOR DELIVERY
E-Mail (PLEASE PRINT CLEARLY)
I am currently receiving Social Security. Please check YES or NO.
OUT OF HABIT, HOW DO I REACT:
Someone wants to know my date of birth or SS number or other personal data.
WHY?
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? The address is pretty vague.
There is a web site to visit. I DON'T GO TO JUST ANY WEB SITE.
If I already receive my Social Security benefits, why do I need to know when I should apply for them?
I DON'T PAY ANYTHING FOR MY BENEFITS, DO I?
ACTION:
I AM SUSPICIOUS.
I NEVER GIVE MY PHONE NUMBER OR DATE OF BIRTH TO ANYONE I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER GIVE MY PHONE NUMBER OR DATE OF BIRTH TO ANYONE I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK I'LL ASK SOMEONE BEFORE I DO ANYTHING.
AFTER LOOKING A LITTLE FURTHER:
As search of the Social Security web site (the real one) reveals no Form AN99C.
A general WWW search for Form AN99C reveals that this is the part number for an electronic component for a DC10 aircraft.
The web site contains a picture of a cute couple, an official looking seal with the words "SOCIAL SECURITY SPECIALIST", and a disclaimer "c 2012 all rights reserved. This site is not connected with, affiliated with or endorsed by the United States government or the Social Security Administration." It is one page that requests the following information:
Name
Phone
Email
Zipcode
It also asks for a mailer code from the postcard. The site will do nothing without all this data.
I DON'T THINK SO!
However, I do need to know something about social security. For example, spousal benefits - how do they work? There are alternate strategies for deciding when one spouse starts collecting benefits. It's complicated. After doing a little analysis, I will post here some guidance. If you understand this subject, please post a comment. Did I mention that it's complicated?
It also asks for a mailer code from the postcard. The site will do nothing without all this data.
I DON'T THINK SO!
However, I do need to know something about social security. For example, spousal benefits - how do they work? There are alternate strategies for deciding when one spouse starts collecting benefits. It's complicated. After doing a little analysis, I will post here some guidance. If you understand this subject, please post a comment. Did I mention that it's complicated?
Michael
Some Statistics
From AARP Public Policy Institute and other sources:
Michael
- 16 percent of frail adults aged 85 and older have no surviving children to help provide their caregiving.
- By 2040, then the oldest boomers are in their 90's, that number will rise to 21% (how do they know that?).
- More than one fifth of boomers are childless
- Another 17% had only one child.
- Only 37 percent of older adults who aren't in nursing homes or hospice care (and only 15% of all adults) have completed legal proxies specifying who can make health care decisions on their behalf. (Notice how the insertion of the word "only" changes the perceived quality of the statistic.)
Michael
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
The Keys Please II
On October 15, 2012, I posted a blog entry called "The Keys, Please" concerning the question how to know when it is time to stop driving. The following link is to a document called a Family Driving Agreement. I think this is an elegant solution to the issue. It clarifies a specific plan for who will make the determination, and what the consequences of that determination are.
Of course it may not work. If we have lost our marbles, we may no longer remember that we committed to the agreement, or recognize the trusted party. Still, it is a stake in the ground. By doing so while our minds are solvent, we just may have planted a seed of realization that may take root when our minds have dissolved. It is better than nothing. And, it just may even be legally binding (I have not asked a lawyer about this).
The document looks something like this:
As I continue through the aging process, I realize there may come a day when the
advantages of my continuing to drive are outweighed by the safety risk I pose not only to
myself, but also to other motorists.
I want to continue driving for as long as is safely possible, but when my driving is no
longer safe, I will trust:
___________________________________________________
(name of trusted friend or relative)
when he/she tells me that I need to discontinue driving, or to continue driving with
certain restrictions.
I will maintain my integrity by listening to and accepting this individual’s driving-related
recommendations, thereby ensuring not only my safety, but also the safety of the
motoring public.
Signed ______________________________________________ Date _____________
(your signature)
Signed _____________________________________________ Date _____________
(by person named above)
Witness _____________________________________________ Date ____________
Keeping Us Safe
Proudly Serving America’s Senior Drivers andTheir Families
www.keepingussafe.org
877-907-8841
Copyright © 2011 Keeping Us Safe, LLC All Rights Reserved
A link to the actual, nicely formatted document is:
http://keepingussafe.org/linked/familydrivingagreement100111.pdf
I have saved a copy in my "getting elded" file and will sign one. Soon. Really, I will.
Michael
Of course it may not work. If we have lost our marbles, we may no longer remember that we committed to the agreement, or recognize the trusted party. Still, it is a stake in the ground. By doing so while our minds are solvent, we just may have planted a seed of realization that may take root when our minds have dissolved. It is better than nothing. And, it just may even be legally binding (I have not asked a lawyer about this).
The document looks something like this:
Family Driving Agreement
Dear Family (or To Whom It May Concern);
As I continue through the aging process, I realize there may come a day when the
advantages of my continuing to drive are outweighed by the safety risk I pose not only to
myself, but also to other motorists.
I want to continue driving for as long as is safely possible, but when my driving is no
longer safe, I will trust:
___________________________________________________
(name of trusted friend or relative)
when he/she tells me that I need to discontinue driving, or to continue driving with
certain restrictions.
I will maintain my integrity by listening to and accepting this individual’s driving-related
recommendations, thereby ensuring not only my safety, but also the safety of the
motoring public.
Signed ______________________________________________ Date _____________
(your signature)
Signed _____________________________________________ Date _____________
(by person named above)
Witness _____________________________________________ Date ____________
Keeping Us Safe
Proudly Serving America’s Senior Drivers andTheir Families
www.keepingussafe.org
877-907-8841
Copyright © 2011 Keeping Us Safe, LLC All Rights Reserved
A link to the actual, nicely formatted document is:
http://keepingussafe.org/linked/familydrivingagreement100111.pdf
I have saved a copy in my "getting elded" file and will sign one. Soon. Really, I will.
Michael
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